


Fortuitous Reunion

by Kattwyllie



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Adoption, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28805931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattwyllie/pseuds/Kattwyllie
Summary: Ch 9 deals with physical assault, kidnapping, talks of sexual assaultCh 10 mentions said attacks in post abduction, in hospital conversations
Relationships: Rita Calhoun/Reader
Comments: 37
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

The sound of Rita’s heels on the hardwood pulled your attention up from the stove where you’d conveniently just finished tossing together the ingredients for lunch. You scooped hers into a Tupperware container half begrudgingly. The two of you originally had the day off and the plan had been to spend it lounged in each other’s arms marathoning through old black and white movies. Instead, Rita’s phone went off with a call from a client and she very reluctantly detached herself from your embrace, making sure to pepper you with kisses before she retreated to the bedroom to get ready. 

She wrapped herself around your body, inhaling the soft scent of your shampoo while she softly kissed at your neck, smiling at the way you leant back against her as you flicked off the burner, plating up your own meal. You turned in her arms, linking your wrists behind her neck as you kissed her, lips curving up in a smile at the warm feel of her against you.

“You sure you have to go in?” You half pouted and she chuckled, pecking you again.

“They tend to get snippy about how much I cost if I leave ‘em in interrogation too long.”

“And you’re worth every penny.” You chased after her lips in a giggle for one more kiss before letting her go. Turning back to the counter, you handed her the Tupperware, “don’t forget to actually eat that.”

“I won’t.” She half smirked, placing the container into her bag, “I’m sorry our day got interrupted my love. How about I take you to dinner tonight? River Café?” She couldn’t help but smile at the way your face lit up, your eyes nearly sparkling.

“Really?!”

“Of course.” She squeezed your hand

“But that’s our anniversary resturaunt…”

“And I wanted today to be special.” Rita kissed your cheek gently, “you just worked over twenty days in a row, you deserve the utmost spoiling and relaxation.” You blushed at her always humble generosity, squeezing at her hand. “Are you going to just lounge around the rest of the day?”

“Hmh..” you shrugged, “I’ll probably go to the gym honestly.” 

“Seriously?” She half laughed, wondering for a moment where you got your amount of energy from before she reminded herself that you were ten years her junior.

“You know I get antsy when you’re not here.”

“You’re too exuberant for your own good, you know that?” She swiped her phone from the counter, dropping it into her bag before she grabbed the to go coffee you’d left her on the counter. Taking a second to kiss you quickly, she took a sip with one hand while she opened the door with the other.

“Hey! You better be swapping that out with decaf or water as soon as you get there.” Two years later and you were still teasing her about the way you’d met, the gleam in your as you let out a giggle when she rolled her eyes.

“You’re lucky I love you.” She called back, hearing your laugh of ‘I love you too’ as the door swung shut behind her. 

Rita would never know why she’d gotten so lucky for life to bring the two of you together, but there was some little sparkle within you that she never wanted to let go of. She’d fallen for you much easier and much quicker than she’d expected, your youthfulness and lack of knowledge of the legal world a much welcomed vacation from her life everytime she came home to your shared apartment. She didn’t particularly go after women who were that much younger than her, but despite you having the energy of one, you also had the maturity that she needed in a partner. 

Your work kept you just as busy, if not more than hers so you understood when she needed to stay at the office late, or an evening you hoped would be full of snuggles ended up full of paperwork instead. She was particularly worried when less than halfway through the appitizers on your second date her phone rang, but you half snorted out a laugh the second your own went off, calling you back to the hospital. You were driven, and wildly motivated, and she absolutely adored that, going above and beyond on the spoiling when you landed a promotion at work. You also always intently listened to her arguments or cross examinations and after two years, you’d become better than her paralegal reread them for. In turn, she ended up with a vast knowledge of random medical facts that she’d never even thought of before.

If she got all that, and the complete love and support from you on a daily basis, she was willing to put up with the incredibly embarrassing day that you’d met.

*

_You were sitting cross legged on the low couch, charting spread out on the small coffee table in front of you while you worked through it. Thankful for the small break from the otherwise hectic day in the E.R, so many of the other nurses hated paperwork, but you didn’t mind the small escape from the action every once in a while. And you knew if you did it it would actually be legible at the end of the day. You were also low key keeping an eye on a patient’s stats, she’d come in unconscious and you wanted to make sure it was for what you’d assumed, and not something worse. The easiest way to combine both your tasks was to finish the charts in her room. A small shuffling and a quite groan echoed through the room, invading your thoughts, though you didn’t glance up right away, finishing your sentence as you spoke._

_“Well..Sleeping Beauty’s awake without true love’s kiss, that’s a first.”_

_“What?” Rita’s groggy voice pulled your gaze up, her brows furrowed toward you._

_“Sorry.” You winced, “I just finished a six month spin in the paediatric’s wing, my brain’s still wired with how to deal with the tiny humans.” Her eyes raked across the coffee table, noting your phone and coffee cup among the charts._

_“Are you hiding out in my room?”_

_“Technically…no?” You felt your cheeks heat, “it’s quieter than the nurse’s station. You seemed important, figured I’d keep a closer eye on your stats.” Your hands shifted around until you found her admittance paper, “and I was hoping you could fill this out for me, it appears Mr. Barba out there doesn’t even know your middle name.” Standing you moved to the bedside, the clipboard finding a home on the rotating table,_

_“Oh God! Barba’s here?” Her hands shot to her face, as if this could get any worse. She was in the middle of working probably too many cases at once. She’d started that morning earlier than normal at her firm, working through as much as she could before two back to back arraignments into a day in court that had ever so thankfully had a continuance called after six hours._

_“You’ve got him to thank that you didn’t crack your skull on the courthouse stairs, lucky save. And you’re…pretty cute when you’re embarrassed, you sure you don’t want me to get him.” You smirked._

_“Ohoho…” she laughed, “Barba is not my type…” It only took one look for you to understood what she meant._

_“Okay. I’ll update him, grab your bag from him and tell him to go home.” Rather than moving you leant against the table, “after you fill this out and tell me the last thing you remember.” She had to admit, despite the youthfulness of your face, and the soft pink scrubs, in that moment, she was still a little intimidated by you, picking up the pen as you continued your conversation._

_“We were coming out of the courthouse, I was trying to get Barba to take a plea but he kept refusing.”_

_“So it’s safe to say you were probably a little riled up? Annoyed?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“When was the last time you had something to drink that wasn’t coffee.” The glance she shot you was immediately subdued by the cocked brow you returned._

_“A couple glasses of wine last night.”_

_“Lawyers..” you muttered. “It’s looking like you passed out from a combination of over caffeination, which brought your heart rate too high, dehydration, aaand your blood sugar was drastically low when you were admitted so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you skipped an actual breakfast for more coffee?” You couldn’t help the grin when she gave you a defeated look._

_“You would be correct.” She sighed._

_“Okay.” You smiled, double checking the couple of IV’s and the machines they were connected to, “we’ve got you on fluids and I’m gonna make sure they bring up some food for you right away. And please eat it, I hate putting feeding tubes in.”_

_“You can’t administer a feeding tube without my consent.”_

_“Nice try Ms Calhoun.” You snorted, “Dr. Huang’s two doors down. All I need is a quick eval from him.”_

_“Do not call Dr Haung in here.” She really didn’t need anyone else from the SVU team even remotely knowing about this, much less involved in it, “I promise you, I will eat whatever you bring.”_

_“Good.” You smiled, “I like you. I’ll make sure you get the good stuff.” Waiting for her to sign the admittance papers before you plucked the clipboard off the table, “thanks. I’ll go plug this all in and get rid of Mr Barba.”_

_“Thank you.” She murmured as you dashed from the room._

_She knew Barba was an old friend, and only trying to watch out for her, but if she let him see her in a hospital bed, in a hospital gown? She’d never live down the teasing. Even once he knew she was okay she was sure she’d get some teasing tomorrow in court, and that was more than enough._

_Honestly she was surprised with the speed that another nurse brought in a food tray for her, and impressed that you hadn’t been kidding, hospital food wise, this was the good stuff. You were gone for longer than she expected, but she probably needed the rest before actually being able to delve back into working anyways._

_When you did return to her room, you had her bag in your hand, and thankfully, no Rafael trailing behind you. Placing the bag in the chair nearest to the bed you checked a couple of her vitals again, noting a few down in the chart._

_“Feeling better?” You asked softly._

_“Much.” She gave you a soft smile, “any idea how long you’re planning on keeping me?”_

_“At least a few more hours. They wanna keep monitoring just to make sure there isn’t something underlying that we haven’t caught. A doctor should be along pretty quick to double check a few things, he’ll probably ask the same questions I already have, try not to get annoyed.” She chuckled at that, “you still hungry? I can defintely get you more if you want it.”_

_“No. Thank you though.” You gave her a warm smile, this one softer than before as you started to gather all the charts from the coffee table you’d been working on before she woke up. “You’re…not staying?”_

_“If you’re working isn’t there some kinda…lawyer, person privacy that I shouldn’t be overhearing?” She laughed,_

_“Attorney client privilege, yes. But I wasn’t planning on making any phone calls.” You’d barely managed to open your mouth when your pager went off and you sighed,_

_“Looks like my day of paperwork is over anyways.” You gestured to the wire beside the bed, “use the call button if you need anything Ms Calhoun. I’ll be sure to come check on you before I leave. You’re in good hands.” You gave her a bright smile before you ducked from the room and she didn’t miss the small flush on your cheeks._

_It was a few hours later you popped back up to check her vitals and levels again (with extra pudding cups in hand because, hey, she was cute, and you weren’t gonna miss an opportunity). You gave her a soft yet gentle lecture about making sure she was getting proper nutrition in and not over caffeinating, even if she was exhausted, that rest was just as important. You bid her farewell and not long after that a doctor came to officially sign her discharge paperwork and she was just thankful the entire ordeal was over._

_Approximately two days later she returned to the office in her firm to find a bag of fresh take out sitting on her desk. She was overly confused, it was labelled as an Ubereats order, but there was a note attached._

_‘Just wanted to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, you deserve it.  
-Nurse Y/N’_

_She then realized the note was written on the back of one of Barba’s business cards, she cursed the man silently as she saw the winky face and your phone number scrawled in his writing with the note ‘you should definitely call her’._

_It took her a couple of days, double checking that Barba wasn’t pulling her arm or anything of the like, she defintely wouldn’t be surprised by it. She was pleasantly surprised when you met her near Central Park for a warm summer patio dinner. Your hair was loose around your shoulders, an adorable sundress hugging your body and she was nearly instantly smitten, not forgetting the personality of the nurse side of you she’d met a week earlier. Before either of you knew it, you’d settled into the very comfortable and loving relationship you had today._

*  
You tapped the cell phone against your hand, probably out of nerves as you waited for the elevator to ping at the Special Victims floor. You’d double checked with Rita’s firm that she wasn’t back yet before you headed over to the 1-6, as it turned out it was only a couple of blocks from your gym anyways. You poked your head into the squad room, hoping you’d be able to find her right away.

“Y/N?” A familiar voice half called out, your gaze shooting toward him.

“Sonny! Hey!” A grin split your cheeks, a soft giggle escaping your lips as he picked you up in a bear hug.

“What’re’ya doin’ here?”

“Oh, I’m uh- looking for Rita Calhoun?”

“I think she’s still in interrogation, you two know each other?” You laughed lightly, unable to respond before Rita’s voice broke through.

“ _You_ two know each other?” She was surprised, you’d never mentioned Carisi’s name, then again, maybe she’d never really realized what his first name was.

“Oh! Yeah, we’ve got..mutual friends.” Your eyes had darted back to Sonny briefly. You knew him because he was dating one of the other E.R nurses you worked with. But you knew how cops and lawyers were about their privacy, especially when it came to significant others.

“What’re you doing here?” Rita asked softly and you suddenly remembered the device in your hand. Sonny gave your arm a soft squeeze as he was called away, a tall brunette woman replacing him in the conversation.

“You left your phone at home.”

“I have mine.”

“You must’ve grabbed mine.” You held the device out in front of you, “I didn’t realize ‘til I got to the gym. As much as I love Michael Bublé, he’s not ideal workout motivation.” 

“Shit, I’m sorry.” She dug through her bag as you exchanged to have the proper devices.

“It’s fine, but you do have like, six missed calls from Barba.” She rolled her eyes. Your attention was drawn to the other woman, suddenly very aware of her eyes on you. “I’m sorry..have we met?” You asked with a gentle smile.

“Uh- no…no we haven’t.”

“Oh.” Rita turned, “Captain Benson, Y/N.” You quickly shook hands, still wondering at the look within Benson’s eyes.

“It’s nice to meet you.” You smiled before turning back to Rita, “I’m gonna head back. Am I meeting you at dinner or are you coming home first.”

“I’ll meet you there, I’d hate work to keep you waiting.”

“Okay.” You shot her a dashing smile she nearly melted, giving Captain Benson a wave before leaving the squad room. Rita turned back to Olivia briefly, 

“Liv…you okay?”

“I-uh…yeah.” She quickly shook out of it, “she just…looks _really_ familiar.”

“She’s a nurse at Mercy.” Rita shrugged, “you’ve probably seen her around.”

“Guess I never pegged you for the roommate type..” 

Rita chuckled softly at the Captain’s assumptions, she began to retort but her phone began to ring, the seventh call from Barba. Sighing, she answered it, giving a quick wave to Olivia as she turned toward the elevator. Honestly, she was thankful for the escape. She liked to keep you as secret as possible when it came to her work, the further you were from being involved with the world of cops and criminals, the better, especially with her being a defence attorney. The last thing she would ever want to happen was for her love to be hurt because of something related to her job. She was curious as to how you knew Carisi, cause she knew you were fibbing, though she was more concerned about Benson’s reaction to you. Sure, maybe she’d seen you around the hospital, but something about Olivia’s genuine reaction to seeing you made her think there was more to it, and in her gut she started to worry that maybe you’d been some kind of victim in the past and she didn’t know about it.

Whatever it was, it was going to have to wait until dinner, she had a full afternoon ahead of herself right now.


	2. Chapter 2

Rita felt her heart swell as she stepped out of the car. You were leant up against a railing, the sun creating a near halo behind you against the East River, the city in the background, with just a hint of the Brooklyn Bridge framing everything perfectly. Your hair was daintily curled around your shoulders, The River Café had a decently strict dress code so she wasn’t surprised to see one of her favourite cocktail dresses wrapped around you, showing off just enough skin through the lace while still being respectful, a pair of golden Manolo’s she’d bought for you on your feet. You looked absolutely stunning and she didn’t know quite what she did to deserve you.

You felt a jolt run through you before you even heard the car door shut and you knew Rita was there, waiting until the sound confirmed it before you looked up from your phone. Sure enough, there she was, a bright smile that mirrored yours as she walked towards you.

“Hi baby.” You greeted, wrapping your arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a soft yet passionate kiss. 

“Hi.” She pecked your lips, “you look enchanting my love.”

“Thank you.” You giggled softly, cheeks heating at the praise as you linked your arm in hers, making your way toward the entrance of the restaurant. “So do you.” Rita chuckled, 

“You’ve seen me in this on multiple occcasions today.”

“And you’ve looked just as stunning each time.” You pecked at her cheek as you approached the hostess stand.

You weren’t surprised when you were lead to a small table on the patio overlooking the river, even last minute, Rita could pull strings you never would have imagined. Settling into the table you directed your attention to the seasonal menu, knowing Rita’s wine knowledge was far superior to yours, you often opted for whatever was cheapest in the varietal of your choice. The usual occasional small talk was exchanged between the two of you before the server came over, Rita’s had interlaced with yours on the table top as she ordered a bottle of Pinot Noir. She softly kissed you when the server walked away, turning her attention back to you.

It was over your appitizers, sharing the scallops and the brown butter gnocchi that the sun slowly set over the city, the golden hour doing wonders for the view. Of both the view of the city and of each other. You always got so distracted and dreamy at the sight of the sunset over New York, a happy little smile on your face as you sipped your wine, the water softly lapping against the edge of the patio. The distraction didn’t mean you couldn’t feel Rita’s gaze on you, knowing she had that adoring smile on her cheeks while she simply drank you in.

“You’re staring again..” you murmured, placing the wine glass down.

“Hmm?” You turned your face back to her, a grin on your cheeks.

“You always think I don’t know when you’re staring at me.” You ducked in for a small kiss, “I can always feel it. It’s like a wave of love crashes over me.” 

“Well I simply can’t help myself.” She smiled, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Especially when the view is this splendorous.” You laughed at her words, kissing the hand interlaced with yours. Rita always made you feel like you were the most important thing on the planet, you weren’t quite sure why, but you were never going to turn her affection away, especially because you felt the absolute same about her.

It was only a few moments later that there was a quiet yet joyous outburst from the indoor dining room that drew your attentions, both smiling at the view of a man down on his knee infront of his date. The River Café was known to be one of the most romantic restaurants in New York, its ambience the ideal backdrop for such a situation. You hummed, leaning against Rita’s shoulder as you spoke, 

“When we get married can we have the reception here?” Your words were quiet, only for her ears. 

She wasn’t totally surprised at your words, but she still felt her heart jump in her chest at the idea. You’d been to the Café three times before tonight. Once, was your fourth date, the other two being anniversary dinners. And without avail, marriage came up each time. 

The first time it was you who brought it up, you were still getting to know each other, you weren’t sure how Rita felt on the matter, it didn’t really matter to you, but you wouldn’t mind being someone’s wife. You’d blatantly asked her if she wanted to get married. She’d laughed and asked if you were proposing that quickly, in turn you laughed and you stated you meant in general. 

The second time Rita was flipping through the extra pages on the menu, noticing that they hosted weddings, making an off hand comment to you and you joked that that was the lamest proposal you’d ever heard of. That you expected something a little more extravagant from someone like her. She in turn playfully slapped your arm with the menu before kissing you softly.

The third time was your second anniversary, your schedule’s had been a little wonky, so you’d settled for brunch instead of dinner. The view from your usual patio table revealing a couple doing their wedding photos on the Brooklyn Bridge. This time neither of you said anything, all the words were unspoken as Rita kissed the side of your head, squeezing your hand softly, humming the way you nuzzled up against her. You each knew that the other person was doing nothing but imagining spending the rest of their life with the other. You’d always known Rita had loved you, but you felt incredibly privileged in that moment, knowing that you were the person she wanted to stay with forever, that you were that lucky.

“When we get married you can have whatever the fuck you want darling.” Rita murmured, kissing your cheek as you giggled.

“You gonna get me a nice shiny ring?” You teased.

“Soon enough my love.” She cupped your cheek, kissing you with immense softness that made you melt, an incredible smile evident on your cheeks as your entrée’s arrived. 

The night progressed as you’d figured, laughing together and sharing bites of each other’s dinners while you talked over the day. Because it was tradition, you insisted on the Brooklyn Bridge shaped chocolate dessert, even if it wasn’t your anniversary, you had to have it, and Rita wasn’t about to say no to you. You practically gleamed as she pulled you to her in the back of the car on the way home, encouraging you to snuggle deep against her. You were so incredibly happy with her half the time your cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and honestly, she felt the same.

The special night she wanted to spoil you with didn’t stop there, you shared a few glasses of wine while winding down from the night when you got home. Changing to pyjamas and beginning to get ready for bed, it was once the lights were off and you were relaxed that she pulled you down ontop of her in a passionate kiss. Truly making up for having to take off to work in the middle of what was supposed to be a day off.

“Jesus Christ..” you breathed out, collapsing against the pillows, “and you say I have more energy than you do.” Rita chuckled, pulling you into her embrace as she tugged the covers up over you.

“I just save my energy for the most important things.”

“I’m the most important?” You teased, kissing at her bare shoulder.

“Of course my love.” She kissed you softly, “always have been. Always will be.”

“I love you” you murmured, letting the after glow take over you as you snuggled into her body, feeling her hand softly trailing up your back, the other one interlacing with the one draped across her torso while she repeated the words to you. It was only after the relaxed air reclaimed the bedroom that Rita spoke again.

“Can…I ask you something?” Her voice was soft, hesitant as she partially didn’t want to know the answer, but it had been bugging her all day. Honestly, multiple answers had been bugging her all day and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer to any of them.

“Always my love.” You shifted slightly so you could see her face. Rita decided to drop the big bomb first, just in case.

“I..I get if you don’t want to tell me the real answer to this..but are you..in WitSec?” You cackled a laugh out that she knew couldn’t possibly be fake.

“Witness protection? Rita what the fuck? We’ve been together over two years and you think I’d keep that a secret from you?”

“It’s just that you knew a few of the cops today…you’ve never mentioned that before.”

“Sonny?” Your brow quirked, propping yourself up on your elbow, “him and Sophie are dating. I just know how you law abiding people are, wanting to keep personal relationships private. I didn’t want to out him infront of the squad.”

“What about Benson?” Rita hesitantly asked. You shook your head.

“Never seen her before in my life.” You dropped down against her shoulder, “I mean…I guess maybe in passing in the E.R. We deal with a lot of cases she’s probably worked on, but nothing specifically reminds me of her.”

“You’ve never…been a..victim?” Rita was oh so soft in her words, knowing how tough it could be to admit despite working the other side, “or someone in your family? Maybe even when you were a kid?”

“I was adopted.” You shrugged the best you could against the bed, “but they were great. I love my adoptive parents. I mean, you’ve met them, they’re awesome. Baby..” you shifted to face her again, kissing her neck, “I would tell you the instant something like that happened, even if it was in the past. You’re my future, and I trust you more than anything with it.”

“Okay.” She kissed your forehead softly. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” You murmured, burying deeper against her skin and she knew you were practically out for the count, holding you tighter to her body.

Whatever was bothering her was a figment of her imagination, you were fine, you’d always been fine, and you were about to be even better with every day of her life. Olivia must’ve just recognized you from the hospital, you saw a number of patients every day, rape victims or shot cops would easily have been on your resume of whom you’d treated. She remained thankful that for now, you were nothing but hers, an angel curled up in her arms as you drifted off, she did always love to watch you fall asleep. The innocence you portrayed made her forget the evils she had to deal with on a daily basis. If she got to come home to you forever, she knew she’d be beyond happy for the rest of her life.


	3. Chapter 3

After a fairly easy morning of a quick arraignment and getting her client’s bail all arranged Rita paused for a brief lunch with Rafael where they battled out agreements on a potential deal. The café was close enough to her firm she chose to walk back afterwards, it was a nice day out and she had to pick up a few things before she could work from home for the rest of the day. It was halfway down Greene Street that she got more than distracted with something in a display window, a voice addressing her only pulling her out of her daydreams.

“Counsellor?” She glanced up to the voice,

“Olivia? Hi.”

“You find something you can’t resist?” Liv teased, “picking out your own wedding ring?” Rita laughed, 

“For my girlfriend…we’re coming up on three years, it seems like the time is right.” She turned to the other woman, “what’d’you think of the one on the left?”

“It’s gorgeous.” Olivia commented, the ring had a unique row of pink diamonds around the center gem. 

Her mind wandered to you, the day you ended up at the precinct, you’d called Rita’s apartment ‘home’. She’d made the roommate assumption having not known Rita’s preferences, and there certainly was an age gap. Maybe you were related to or friends with Rita’s partner and staying there temporarily? You hadn’t shown any affection toward Rita when you were in the squad room, though there could be a number of reasons for that.

“Hmm..” Rita tugged her lip in between her teeth, “it’s a bit small…” Olivia couldn’t help the small laugh at the other woman’s words. “She deserves it.”

“And no doubt you can afford it.” She teased, “I’m sure they have one with a higher carat inside.”

“You’re probably right.” Rita hummed again for a minute before stepping toward the door, “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah.” Liv mustered the best smile she could, “congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Rita smiled one so warm that Olivia had no doubt in her mind how much she loved whoever she was buying the ring for. Nodding goodbye as she continued her way down the street.

*

When she got home Rita wasn’t surprised to find you curled up on the couch, softly dozing with Will and Grace on the t.v. You’d worked the last couple of night shifts as as much as you tried to keep your sleep on a schedule, those shifts always fucked with you. Smiling down at you she brushed some hair off your face, her thumb stroking at your cheek. Your lips twitched into a small smile at the feel, even in your sleep you were aware of her presence and affection. She ever so softly left a kiss on your shoulder before retreating to the kitchen.

Doing her best to quietly pop a bottle of champagne she poured out two flutes, picking up the small blue box before moving back into the living room. She placed the glasses on the coffee table, the box infront and center of them, then quietly hurried to the bedroom to change into something comfortable. She couldn’t help but pause in the entry to the living room, knowing just how lucky she was to be the one privy to these little private moments with you. She softly settled herself between the back of the couch and your body, wrapping an arm around you, gently kissing your shoulder, not surprised at the way you nuzzled even deeper against her. 

The warmth of her body brought your conscious slightly back to life, rolling in her arms, snuggling into the crook of her neck, feeling the gentle caress of her hand on your back. Her lips gently met your forehead and you hummed.

“You’re home early.” You murmured, your voice still thick with sleep.

“Figured I’d rather work from home where I get to snuggle up with you.” 

“You’re not exactly working right now.” You cracked an eye open, a grin on your face, accepting the soft kiss she gave you.

“This seemed like a better idea. Work can wait.” She gently nudged you with her arm, “roll over. I got you something.” You did as she said, a small gasp coming from your lips as you saw a the infamous blue of the box.

“Tiffany’s!” You sat up, the excitement evident in your eyes as Rita shifted beside you, “and it’s not even my birthday.” You pecked her cheek quickly as you picked up the box, “it’s small…is it earrings?” Rita practically laughed at your innocence.

“Open it.” She nudged you with her knee.

The gasp this time was much louder, a hand flying to your mouth as you revealed the ring, the way it sparkled in the sun of the late afternoon. When you looked up at her there was a rim of beyond happy tears in your eyes.

“Rita…” your face practically melted at the love radiating off her. Smiling, she reached out, smoothing back a piece of your nap mussed hair.

“We’ve been talking about it since our fourth date, I think I was just waiting for the right ring. Darling I’ve known for years I’ve wanted to marry you, I would be the luckiest woman alive to have you as my wife.”

“Yes!” You launched on your knees at her, wrapping tightly around her neck as you peppered her face with kisses. 

The force from your excitement knocked her down back onto the couch, a fit of gentle laughter erupting from the two of you as Rita half pleaded at you to stop. She eventually got her way as her hands tickled at your sides, pulling a shriek from you as you shot away from her reach. A laugh still on her cheeks, she pulled you in for a deep kiss before sliding the ring on your finger.

“The champagne makes a lot more sense now.” You admitted. Sure, Rita definitely had a habit of spoiling you, but champagne to go along with some earrings in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon seemed a bit much. She laughed gently, kissing your cheek before leaning forward and handing you a glass.

“Well now we have more than enough of a reason to celebrate.” You clinked your glasses together before taking a small sip. 

“I love you…” You nuzzled against her nose, kissing her softly.

“I love you too Darling.”

*

You were behind the nurses station, organizing the current stack of clipboards in the E.R when a coworker’s voice called out, 

“Y/N! Bed two needs stitches. Suture kit’s in there, but they need me in trauma.”

“Go.” You waved them off, picking up the clipboard and moving through the room, you pulled the curtain back a little as you slipped inside, “alright..Dominick, I’m Y/N-“ you cut yourself off as you glanced up, your tone turning playful as a small grin took over your face, “Detective Carisi..what did you do?”

“Let’s just say tha fence won this fight.” He half pouted in return and you laughed, turning to pull on a pair of gloves. You glanced over his paperwork to double check a few things, 

“Well I hope you’re not scared of needles ‘cause I’m gonna have to give you three.” 

“All good Doll.” He smiled back at you and you shook your head, prepping the local anesthesia. Whatever fence this was had left him with decent size gash on the side of his calf.

“You’re gonna feel a slight pinch.” You warned him, completing your task. You turned back to prep the suture kit while the numbing started to do it’s job. You gave his calf a little poke, “you feel that?”

“Nope.”

“Perfect.” You braced your left hand on the side of the bed in an attempt to turn yourself to the instrument tray and you felt your glove snap open over your ring finger, the diamond stabbing through the latex. _“Oh for fuck’s sake.”_ You muttered, pulling off your gloves as Sonny let out a low whistle.

“That’s a nice diamond.”

“Thanks.” You blushed with a small smiled.

“How many carats?”

“No idea but knowing her…a lot.” You laughed, “I shouldn’t have worn it to work, I’ve destoryed so many gloves I’m sure they’re gonna start taking them outta my paycheque.”

“I’ll hold it.” He suggested, “make this a little easier?” You chuckled as he held up his pinky finger in offerance, but you obviously knew you could trust him, he wasn’t some stranger, so you slid the ring off your finger and dropped it onto his, laughing at the visual.

“Thanks.” You re-gloved with a fresh pair and got started on the sutures.

“I’m guessin’ this is new? Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” You couldn’t help the gleeful smile, the thought of spending forever with Rita just made you inescapably happy, “It is. She surprised me with it a few days ago.”

“She’s lucky ta have ya.”

“Oh believe me, I’m the lucky one.”

“I hope I get ta meet her one day.” You chuckled, keeping the secret that he very much already knew her, he just didn’t know it.

“Of course, you’ll be at the wedding after all.”

“I will?”

“Sophie’s obviously gonna be my maid of honour! But I haven’t asked her yet, so don’t say anything!”

“Secret’s safe with me.” He winked to enunciate his words and you laughed, trying to keep your attention on the task at hand as the curtain pulled back again.

“Uh…Carisi?” Olivia’s voice broke your concentration, pausing in your work as you glanced up. Her brow was furrowed and you realized how silly the situation looked with your ring on Sonny’s pinky finger, his hand held up in front of him so it didn’t slip off. You let out a small giggle.

“Y/N got engaged!” He gleefully announced, causing you to blush again.

“It keeps ripping the gloves…” you explained, “definitely leaving it safely at home from now on.”

“Congratulations…” Liv’s regards seemed a little less than enthusiastic, she couldn’t help it, the ring being the exact one Rita had been looking at the other day (except this one was definitely a few carats larger).

“Thank you. I should be done in fifteen if you need him Captain Benson.” You gave her a small smile, “but I would highly suggest limiting your perp chases until the stitches fall out.” Turning back to Sonny you continued, your voice slightly quieter this time, “Sophie’ll kill you.”

“I know.” He muttered back, a sheepish grin on his face.

“Thanks.” Oliva replied, “Uh, since we’re here anyway, there’s a vic in 204. I’ll be down there when you’re done.”

“Course Cap.” 

Olivia gave a quick nod in response, slipping back out of the curtained area. She took a moment before entering the vic’s room, trying to piece things together in her brain even though it was already there. You were the mystery girl Rita had been talking about, and now the two of you were engaged, she guessed she was just trying to wrap her head around the whole thing. It was a lot of new information to process over a relatively short amount of time. She had to remind herself that if everyone was happy and safe, that was really all that mattered, and you certainly seemed happy.


	4. Chapter 4

The night shift rotation had claimed you back into its depths, meaning you were getting home around five in the morning on a good day. It at least gave you a couple of brief hours buried in Rita’s arms before her alarm went off and she had to head into court or the firm. Today though, she said fuck it to trial prep, the case was practically already in the bag anyways. Today she chose to stay cuddled with you a few hours longer than she normally would, only sneaking out to grab her laptop to work on a few things for a bit while you caught up on your sleep.

It was only when she set aside her work, knowing she’d need to get up and eat something soon that you began to stir in your sleep, rolling to curl against her lap. She smiled down at you, running a hand through your hair.

“Playing hooky are we?” You teased, pulling a laugh from her.

“Well there are a lot of _other_ things I’d rather be doing right now, but I wanted to make sure you got your rest.”

“Oh really?” You cocked a brow in fake confusement. “You feel like enlightening me?”

“Oh I suppose.” She smirked, slipping down in the bed, meeting your lips in a soft but very heated kiss. You more than willingly accepted her tongue into your mouth, pulling her tightly against your body, you had to admit, this was always going to be the best way to wake up.

Rita did her best to pull as many orgasms from you as she could, slowly, softly bringing you to your peak multiple times. Her own breath catching in her throat as you more than eagerly returned the favour. You loved Rita beyond absolute belief, but there was something so incredible about watching the usually so powerful lawyer become a complete mess beneath you. 

You had finished round number who knew what, gently wrapped in each other’s arms, soft caresses and light kisses littering each other’s bodies as you both came back to earth, soft murmurings of ‘ _I love you’_ whispered into the room. Rita smiled as her hand rested against yours, playing with the diamond on your ring finger, ever so proud that you were all hers, forever. 

“You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, y’know?” You shifted slightly so you could see Rita’s face, which softened at your words.

“Likewise Darling.” She kissed your temple.

“I mean it…” you kissed at her skin, curling against her once again “life was…bleak, it didn’t mean anything, kind of felt useless until the day I met you. You changed me for the better, I’ll never forget that.”

Rita’s hand softly caressed at your hair, kissing your head once again as she held you a little tighter. Her mind wandered back to the interaction with Benson after you spoke those words. She’d always thought you had a good upbringing, things with your parents seemed more than friendly and good, you still kept in touch with them. They’d been more than thrilled at the news of your engagement, sending over a gorgeous bouquet of roses. But something in her gut just wasn’t sitting right. Maybe she’d spent too much time in a world surrounded by crime and disadvantage, maybe her views were skewed. She tried to push the feeling back down, but there was still that little nagging thought in the back of her brain that you were leaving out some detail, that there was something Benson and you shared that she wasn’t privy to. Though she knew that you loved her more than anything, and if there was some deep dark secret, you’d open up to her when you were ready. It still freaked her out though. What if it was something you didn’t know about? Her racing thoughts were suddenly broken by the ringing of her phone, she huffed, hearing your grumble as she answered, having a very brief conversation before hanging up.

“Guess that’s the end of our in bed day?” You asked, half lifting yourself up on your elbow.

“I’m afraid so.” She cupped your cheek with the utermost softness, kissing you with all of her love, “I’ve got a client.”

“Go do what you do best baby.” You kissed her again before dropping down into the pillows as she got out of bed. “If you’re not home by dinner I’ll leave you some in the fridge.”

“Thank you darling.”

“Rita…”

“Yes?” She turned back to you from the doorway to the ensuite.

“ _Eat_ something before you leave please? I’d hate for some other nurse to have to deal with your antics.” She let out a scoff of a large laugh, rolling her eyes at you.

“I will. I promise darling.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

*

As it turned out, her client was another SVU case, maybe her mind just wasn’t in things fully but she suddenly found Rafael even more annoying than normal, and they were friends. She shot down the plea deal, taking a few moments to talk to her client after Barba left the room, explaining the charges and what the next twenty four hours would contain. 

Leaving interrogation she stepped into the main bull pen, it was practically empty, Carisi, presumably still on desk duty was milling through a pile of paperwork but that was it. Her curiousity got the best of her and she headed to Liv’s office, knocking on the door gently.

“Rita…you need something?” Benson greeted from behind her desk, pullling off her glasses.

“Uh..yeah.. you got a minute?”

“Course.” She gestured to the chairs in front of her desk. Rita took a heavy breath, shutting the door behind her before she settled into one. “Something with the case seem off?”

“No..” she struggled with her words for what felt like the first time in forever. She knew there were legal limitations to things like this, and hoped that maybe Benson would be okay with breaking one or two to get some answers. 

“Okay. This wedding related?” Oliva teased, “I would ask how it went but she stitched up Carisi the other day.”

“I heard.” Rita laughed, “uhm, I guess it’s kind of related to that.”

“You said you were going on three years right?” Rita nodded, “you really started dating her when she was twenty eight?”

“Uh-“ that nearly caught the attorney speechless, clearly Olivia knew something about you if she knew exactly how old you were. “Yeah..I did.” She wrung her hands for second, trying to gather the words she’d done her best to prep before she got here. “Listen…that day she showed up in the squad room…you looked like you saw a ghost. Y/N may have missed it but I know that you know her from somewhere. No one understands the whole confidentiality issue like me, but she’s done nothing but say she’s never met you. So my question I guess? Is…how do you know these little things about her? She said she was never a victim or a witness. Were…her birth parents involved in some kind of crime? I thought maybe you pulled her from a sex ring she didn’t remember but you’re too young for that to make sense. I’ve been strung up on it since the interaction happened and as much as I want to put it behind me I can’t. I need to know that the woman I’m going to marry is safe, that she doesn’t have some tragic past she’s running from, whether she knows it or not. I mean-“ Olivia cut her off with a raise of the hand, the other one running over her face, pushing back her hair with a heavy sigh, there was no use waiting anymore.

“I know…because I gave birth to her.”

“What?” Rita felt her breath catch in her throat, for _multiple_ reasons. Noticing the way Olivia’s eyes blurred with tears.

“I was fifteen…” her voice shook, “as much as I wanted a baby, I knew I couldn’t properly raise one that young. The adoption was open at first, they came to see us every couple of weeks when she was a baby, but…I couldn’t handle it, my Mother couldn’t deal with someone else raising her granddaughter, it drove her to drink even more. So we cut off all contact. She has no idea who I am.”

“I’m so sorry…” Rita’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“It’s okay.” Olivia brushed back a stray tear, “her parents still sent me little updates on life events. I have a picture from her graduation, that’s how I recognized her. God…I prayed for years she would never show up in my squad room, I was terrified she’d pop up reporting a crime.” She glanced up at the other woman, “If she was to show up here at least it wasn’t that.”

“Is..this the part where you lecture me for being with someone a decade younger than me? Tell me that you’ll kill me if I hurt her?” She suddenly felt very aware of the fact that Olivia was legally carrying a gun at all times.

“No.” Olivia half laughed, brushing away another tear, “I think I gave up that right when I gave her away…”

“Liv..she’s still your daughter…”

“She doesn’t know that.” She sighed, “and from what I can tell, the two of you love each other more than I could ever imagine. You may defend the scum of the earth sometimes, but if you make her that happy, I can’t be mad.”

“Did…you want me to tell her?” Rita was genuinely curious, she was now the middle ground between a very sensitive situation, and really wasn’t sure what to do.

“No.” Oliva insisted, “our lives aren’t that intermingled that much, it won’t be a problem.”

“Are you sure?” Rita cocked a brow, “last I heard one of your detectives is dating her maid of honour. And Barba’s a very loved mutual friend of ours. Not to mention most of your cases are at Mercy…”

“Not yet…” She resolved, “let me..figure my thoughts out..it’s…a lot..”

“I understand.” Rita did her best to give a warm smile, “I should let you go.” She stood from the chair, swiftly moving through the chair.

“Rita?” Oliva’s voice paused her hand on the doorknob, turning back to her with a question on her face, “I know I don’t have to tell you this..but please…take care of her. If she was to end up with anyone that I know, you’d somehow be my first pick, I know you’ll treat her exactly the way she deserves.”

“Of course.” She smiled warmly at the Captain before moving through the doorway. 

The moment the elevator doors shut she closed her eyes, leaning back against the wall. She was expecting to find out that you were abused as a child, or that you’d grown up in Witsec without even knowing it. But this? Honestly this was a whole ballpark she wasn’t sure she was ready to process. Then again, neither was Liv.

*

Rita nearly froze at the fact that there were sounds coming from within the apartment, her key halfway to the doorknob before she realized it was your voice softly singing along to music.

“You’re home!” You greeted enthusiastically, spatula still in hand as your arms wrapped around her in a deep kiss.

“I thought you had to work?” She asked, shelving her coat and bag.

“They had some first years that wanted the hours.” You shrugged, “figured why not take the night off….spend it with the love of my life.” You half snuggled your face against her, kissing her cheek before returning to attention to the stove. “How was work?”

“It was…interesting…” Rita sighed. She’s couldn’t help it, wrapping herself around your back as you continued to cook. If she had to keep a secret from you at least she could get all the affection out of it she could.

“Well… dinner’s almost ready, and I’ve got your favourite wine picked out and our movie continuation ready and waiting on the t.v.” You nudged at her, “go get comfortable. I’ll take care of you my love.” You turned to face her brief, your face suddenly dropping, “baby…are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She quickly pulled together a smile, cupping your cheek gently as she leaned in for a kiss, “just tired.”

“Okay.” You smiled warmly, kissing her cheek, “I won’t keep you up too late. Scout’s honour.”

Rita laughed as she kissed your cheek before moving down the hallway. As weird as things might be while Olivia figured out what she wanted to do, as long as Rita had to hold onto this secret, there was nothing that would change her feelings about you. You were her world, her sun and stars, it didn’t matter where you came from, she still wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with you, you were what made her the most happy ever day of her life, and there was no way she was going to let that slip between her fingers.


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia had gotten to Hogan Place earlier than she’d expected, settling into Rafael’s office as she waited for him to return with a warrant. They’d been communicating via text throughout the morning, and while she knew he probably wouldn’t be back yet, she was in the neighborhood with an extra cup of coffee so where else would she go?

“Sorry!” He huffed as he practically raced in the door, tossing his coat and briefcase aside, “Judge Jacobs would not stop talking about his grandkids, it was nearly impossible to get out of there.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She replied, “gave me a little bit of downtime.”

“And you don’t often get much of that.” He teased back, thanking her for the coffee, knowing it was his go to blend and much better than the crap in the office.

“As much as I’d love to stay and socialize… the warrant?” 

“One condition.” Rafael smirked and she knew it wasn’t a work related condition, “what’re you doing on Saturday?”

“Aside from constantly being on call, nothing.”

“Perfect, I need a plus one to this event, it’s in the afternoon.”

“Raf….come on. Why can’t you just go to things by yourself? You’re a grown man.” She half teased.

“It’s an open bar..” he offered, “food’s all covered too. Come on, it’s Calhoun you know there won’t be any expense left out.”

“Calhoun?” Olivia felt her heart jump a beat.

“Yeah, her engagement party or whatever?” 

“I’ll have to double check my schedule.”

“You just said you were free! Come on, free meal and drinks, we can poke fun of everything together.”

“Won’t my being there hinder you from meeting a potential date?” Rafael laughed at that,

“Defence attorney’s and people ten years my junior? That may be Rita’s style but no thank you.” He teased handing the warrant over.

“Fine.” She snatched the paper out of his hand, “but I do still need to check on something. I’ll call you later?”

“Thank you.” He smirked. Olivia shook her head at the man as she left his office. She knew that considering the circumstances, she might be intruding a little bit if she accompanied Rafael. But it was just a party, there’d probably be a lot of mutual friends and intermingling. It’d be fine, right?

*

The second person to grace Rafael’s office that afternoon was Rita. She’d come to strike a deal on her most recent case, the two of them battled back and fourth for a little bit before Rafael teasingly shot out one and she nearly immediately agreed, letting out a heavy sigh as she dropped back against the chair.

“This case really got you down that much?” He cocked a brow at her as he flipped the case file shut.

“No, it’s nothing.”

“Rita…I’ve known you longer than anyone else that I’m still friends with. Is it wedding stress? You guys know you don’t have to set a date right away, unless Y/N’s pushing for it?”

“No.” Rita smiled softly, “y/n’s perfect. I couldn’t ask for someone more wonderful.”

“Then what’s going on?”

“Raf.. I’m fine. Everything’s great.”

“Really? Because even a first year Harvard student wouldn’t have taken that deal. I didn’t even actually mean it, it was a joke.” As they’d been spitballing back and fourth he’d shot out one that sure, majorly favoured him, but someone like Rita would normally have rolled her eyes, picked up her things and said she’d see him in court.

“I honestly don’t care. Let him go down.”

“What has gotten into you?” Rafael was suddenly even more concerned, his voice incredibly soft now. The defeated look in his friend’s eyes had him worried, “I haven’t seen you like this since college.” Rita groaned, leaning forward in the chair as she ran her hands over her face.

“What I’m about to tell you does not leave the two of us, no matter how much you want to spill it. And if you end up finding out from someone else later on, it is the first time you’re hearing it. _Understood?”_

“Of course.” He meant it, she had his utmost honesty. Rita was one of his oldest friends and he wasn’t about to break her trust this far along.

“You know that Y/N’s adopted?”

“Yes.” He nodded, “oh God! You didn’t find out she was related to you or something?” Rita chuckled,

“You need to stop watching so many telenovela’s.”

“Okay well you can spend next weekend with Mami then.”

“I’m sure she’d enjoy it more than seeing you for once.” Rafael scoffed, even amidst a somewhat emotional conversation she was able to throw a few jabs in.

“Okay, back to the topic. What’s going on with y/n?”

“I found out who her birth mother is.”

“Did it come up on a case?” His brow furrowed, 

“Not exactly…” Rita huffed, deciding to just bite the bullet, “her birth mother’s Liv.”

“Olivia…Benson…?” She nodded, “are you sure?”

“Olivia told me herself last week. Y/N came into the precinct to drop something off, Liv recognized her, but y/n has no idea who she is. I was worried something happened in her past, or with her birth parents that maybe she didn’t know about, so I pressed Benson until she gave it up.”

“Oh…” Rafael paused to process before he suddenly remembered the condition he’d made earlier, “I..should probably tell you I just asked Liv to be my plus one for Saturday.”

“I know.” Rita waved it off, “I ran into her in the elevator. It’ll be fine, the more the merrier. Maybe give them some time to talk or something.”

“Y/n has no idea?”

“None in the slightest.” She sighed, “I feel like I should tell her but Liv wants to try and wrap her head around everything before they talk about it.”

“At least give it some time, you’re all wrapped up in the honeymoon phase of your engagement. Enjoy it while you can, let the glow ware off on its own instead of breaking it yourself.”

“You’re right.” Rita pushed up to standing, pausing briefly as she glanced at Rafael, “that tie clashes horribly with your shirt.”

“There she is…” Rafael teased at the return of the quick witted sass filled friend he knew.

“And I’m taking back that deal.”

“I figured as much.” He called after her as she left the office. No doubtedly leaving the door open on purpose just so he’d have to get up and close it himself.

*

It was no surprise that your engagement party was at The River Café. The semi private back half of the restaurant and the back terrace had been rented out for the party, you’d chosen to leave the decorations to what they normally would be, nothing special considering you knew the reception was going to be in the same place. Some might have found that idea to be a little tacky, but this place was a special part of your relationship and it meant a lot to both you and Rita.

It was a smaller event than normal, the closest friends from both of your lives scattered throughout the space, the ones that you wanted to celebrate with the most. The bar was flowing the free champagne and mimosas throughout the early afternoon, an array of the brunch menu mixed in with some of the appetizers from the dinner menu laid out on an open buffet. It started out a little on the slow side, as people popped in and out throughout their otherwise occupied day, but it was perfect.

Rita forgot all of her worries as you caught her eye from across the room, you were animatedly talking with one of your college best friends, the sparkle in your eye ever so evident as you caught each other up on your lives. You looked absolutely astonishing, your hair swooped off your neck, the top of your dress glittering away in the sun while the white of the skirt came to just your knees, you’d finished it off with a teal pair of Manolo’s. For someone who spent the majority of her time in scrubs, you certainly knew how to fancy it up.

Over at the entrance, with both of you distracted inside was where things were getting more intermingled without you realizing it.

“Barba?” Carisi stalled in the doorway next to Sophie at the sight of the A.D.A in the café, though maybe he was just here for lunch? He suddenly felt super awkward as if he’d caught him on a date with his Captain.

“Carisi?” Honestly, Rafael was just as confused at the situation, “Calhoun really invited you to this?”

“Calhoun?” Sonny quirked, following Rafael’s nod into the restaurant, seeing the attorney talking with someone else from his firm. The question of both men was promptly answered as you came launching at Sophie into a hug with a shriek.

“There’s my maid of honour!” You greeted, a wide smile on both your faces as you kissed cheeks.

“Ah…you’re a plus one. That makes much more sense.” Barba teased. Your hand whapped him in the chest.

“Oh play nice Mr Barba.”

“Cap…didn’t realize you’d be here…” Carisi was doing his best to not stumble through the situation, and you had to hand it to Sophie, he was pretty adorable.

“She’s here because Mr Barba can’t go places unsupervised. Always have to have an adult chaperone, isn’t that right?” You winked. Olivia let out a bark of a laugh, 

“You certainly are Rita’s girl.”

“We’re glad you here Olivia, the more the merrier.” You gave her a warm smile, squeezing her arm to double assure her that you were only coming after Barba before you drug Sophie off to get her a drink.

Rita caught up with you at the bar as your champagne was being refilled, taking a moment to wrap around your back, placing a kiss against your exposed neck. Turning in her arms you greeted her with a smile of a kiss, wrapping your free arm around her waist. You reacquainted her with Sophie, they’d met a small handful of times before but never spent an overwhelmingly long time together, usually just in passing. It didn’t take long for Sonny to join you, eager to escape the teasing from Barba, congratulating Rita. 

As the afternoon wearied on, you and Rita were both glad you’d kept things small for today, it became very apparent how exhausting a large wedding would end up. Everyone wanted to talk to you, those you hadn’t seen in a while wanting to catch up and know _literally_ everything. You were thankful you were able to have as much time in Rita’s arms as you did, nuzzling against her every opportunity you got. The day was absolutely surrounded by love, it so easily wove itself through the café and around everyone inside. The moments you absolutely adored the most were the ones that you’d glance up and catch Rita watching you with that incredible smile, love filling her eyes as she was talking with someone else (likewise, Rita caught you staring on multiple occasions and it always made your cheeks heat when she caught you).

As you approached the bar for another top up as the afternoon began to fade you settled in beside Olivia, giving her a warm smile as she glanced your way.

“I really hope I didn’t offend you with that comment, we really are happy to have you here, I just can’t resist taking a jab at Rafael when the opportunity presents itself.” 

“None was taken.” She laughed lightly, thankful for the champagne making things at least slightly less awkward on her end, “this place is really beautiful.”

“I know!” You gazed out across the café, “it’s been a pretty big staple in our relationship, it’s like our own little special place.”

“How…did you two meet?”

“Oh..” you giggled, “she’ll probably kill me for telling you this but, at the hospital. She passed out mid work day outside the court house cause she was over caffeinated and underfed.”

“Oh?” 

“Yeah.” You thanked the bartender for the fresh glass, taking a sip of the bubbly, “which according to Sophie is a bad habit for you cops too. I don’t wanna see anyone from your squad turning up for something like that.”

“I’ll keep an eye on them.”

“Good.” You paused with a smile, taking another sip, “can I ask something?”

“Uh- of course.”

“What made you want to get into special victims? It sounds intense but also, kinda piqued my interest. I didn’t even know it existed until I met Rita.”

“A lot of life experience.” Olivia smiled, “I’d seen what those kind of crimes could do to a person and wanted to do everything I could to help.”

“Makes sense.”

“Isn’t that why you went into nursing?”

“No. I just really like science and math.” You deadpanned before laughing, “of course is it! No one likes the boring parts of it. I dunno…I just always felt like I needed to help people, it was like, in my genes or something.” Olivia huffed a small laugh at that, watching as your gaze was caught by Rita across the room, an absolutely dreamy look taking over your face as you watched her talk with Rafael. You knew just by the smirk on her face that they were quipping back and fourth as usual. She felt your eyes on her, pausing to glance up, giving you a bright smile that you returned.

“You guys really do love each other.” Liv commented.

“Yeah…” you wistfully replied before managing to tear your gaze away, turning your attention back to Olivia, “I couldn’t be happier.”

“I’m glad.” She smiled. As awkward as this day, this conversation, could have been, she was glad to be getting to know you a bit, and even more glad to watch just how totally in love with each other you and Rita were. “Does…her work ever put a strain on anything?”

“We’ve learnt not to talk about it,” you shrugged, glancing down at the bar top.“Pretty early on I treated a nine year old for attack wounds and she outcry’d about a sexual assault to me. I had to testify, and the girl wanted me in court with her, naturally it was Rita’s case.” You suddenly turned your head up to the brunette, “I’m surprised I didn’t meet you then? Some guy Sergeant took my statement.”

“I was on leave for a bit.”

“Hmm.” You took another sip of champagne, “getting crossed by her wasn’t so bad, but…she ended up winning and that didn’t exactly help the home life.”

“Sometimes it’s just best to leave work at work.”

“Exactly.”

“But a love like what I know you two have, probably makes it worth it.”

“A hundred percent.” The mega watt smile was back on your face as you glanced up at her, the gleam bright in your eyes.

*  
Rita had just moved off from Barba, picking up a fresh glass of champagne from a server closer to the entrance as she walked a friend out right as a new guest popped in.

“Alice!” Rita greeted, pulling your Mom in for a quick hug, “I’m so glad you made it! Is Tom with you?”

“No, he’s out of town for work. I’m so sorry I’m so late, I was at a volunteer thing and traffic getting into the city was horrible.”

“Oh don’t worry about, that’s why we made it an all day thing.”

“Where’s y/n?”

“Up at the bar last I saw.” Rita replied, the gaze of both women moving over to where you were happily chatting with Liv.

“Oh…I..didn’t realize she’d connected with Olivia.” Your Mom paused suddenly as Rita’s hand wrapped around her wrist, freezing her movement.

“Uhm…okay this may sound bad…but Y/N doesn’t know _exactly_ who Olivia is…I only found out last week. I sometimes work with her and things came up, but she asked me to not say anything yet.”

“Does she have any idea?”

“I highly doubt it.”

“Well I’m glad you were at the door to give me the heads up.”

Across the room you felt eyes on you again, turning, not surprised to see Rita’s gaze on you once again. A smile burst out on your cheeks when you saw your Mom with her.

“Come on, I’ve got someone I want you to meet!” Your hand clasped at Olivia’s wrist while you lead her through the crowd. 

Her eyes caught Alice’s and her heart suddenly hammered in her chest, this could go any variety of ways and one of them was utterly a disaster, especially on a special day like today. You dropped her arm as you approached, wrapping your Mom in a tight hug, a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Mom, this is Oliva, she…kind of..works with Rita.”

“It’s so nice to meet you.” Alice greeted with a warm handshake.

“Likewise. You’ve raised a truly incredible daughter.” The unspoken words flowed between them. Rita felt the tension break a few moments later when Rafael popped up asking if Liv had a minute and she mouthed a silent thank you at him as he dragged the woman off.

Minor crisis averted thanks to very well timed coincidences, who knew what could possibly have blown up otherwise.

The rest of the day passed easily, Olivia made an excuse saying she was needed at work and gave you a quick goodbye on the way out. Before you knew it, the sun was sinking over the city and the guests were gone. You were now more than ever glad that you hadn’t hosted at home, leaving the clean up to the staff (along with a very well deserved tip).

The car ride back to the apartment was near silent, you passed it off as exhaustion for the both of you, but there was something lingering in the air that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Once home, the near silence continued, you pecked at Rita’s cheek before she headed down the hall to start the shower. 

You grabbed water for both of you, carefully stepping out of your heels before entering the bedroom. The glasses found home on the bedside tables, you plugged your phone in and tugged off your dress, hanging it to be dry cleaned the next time an order went in. Pulling on soft pyjamas you opted for a make up wipe to clean your face, you’d counter by exfoliating the next morning instead. The silence gave you time to get lost in your thoughts, which wasn’t the best idea right now, but you couldn’t help it. 

When Rita emerged from the shower in pj’s she found you cross legged in the middle of the bed, a whistful look in your eyes. You glanced up at her, noticing the distance in her own, 

“Are you okay?” You asked softly, breaking her thoughts and pulling her gaze to you.

“Yeah. It was just a long day, I’m tired is all.” 

“But it hasn’t been _just_ today…”

“What?” The wavering in your voice had her full attention now.

“Something’s been…off recently…it was fine until a few days after you gave me the ring…are..are you having second thoughts? Cause, if you are, then that’s fine.” You wiped away a stray tear that you weren’t even sure where it came from, “we don’t have to do the whole wedding thing, just the ring’s enough.”

“Darling…” she dropped down onto the bed, your words nearly shattering her heart, she’d never meant to hurt you like this, “no. I _absolutely am not_.” Her hand reached out to stroke your face, the other one clasping at your left, “when I said I wanted to marry you I meant it. Nothing would make me happier than being your wife. Oh my love…” She pulled you to her chest, cradling you gently against her body while she kissed your hair, “I love you more than anything in the entire universe.”

“I just don’t want you getting cold feet when the day comes. I know you said you weren’t really the wedding type, and I don’t care about all that fancy shit as long as I get to spend my life with you.”

“My love, I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you a million times more, I would do anything you asked for. I’m so incredibly sorry I’ve been distant recently, things have just been weird with work and I didn’t want to bring that home to you. You deserve the utmost happiness. I’m so sorry that I tried to keep you out of it, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know…” you sat up, wiping a few more tears away, “maybe, like you said, it was a long day, maybe it’s the exhaustion talking. I just..got scared..that you’d changed your mind.”

“I could never change my mind.” She kissed the tip of your nose, “I’ve never made an easier decision in my life, okay?” Rita wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug, “you mean everything to me. I love you my sweet.”

“I love you too.” You murmured against her shoulder, letting the worries melt off you as you sank into the hug. She only pulled away softly when she felt you sigh heavily, knowing that you were okay. Cupping your face she kissed you softly, holding her forehead against yours in a moment of intimacy after such a public day.

It was only when you dropped down into the pillows that she shifted the covers over the two of you, curling her body around yours in the bed, making sure you were securely in her arms. She lay a featherlight trail of kisses across your shoulder and neck, murmuring just how much she loved you as you fell asleep.

Rita honestly felt kind of like an idiot, she knew she’d been acting a little weird since finding out about Olivia, but she thought she’d covered it well enough. Then again, any kind of strange behaviour in the days following an engagement was probably a red flag. She felt even more terrible for hurting you on a day like today, if it was going to end in tears she’d only hoped they’d be happy ones. She made a very important mental note to do whatever she could to make it up to you. After all, you were literally all that mattered in her life, and she clearly needed to remind you that.


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next few weeks Rita absolutely showered you with every ounce of love and affection that she could, it really only took a day before your worries of her doubts were vanished. Although you weren’t about to let her stop, you enjoyed taking more time to yourselves, she was more than okay with working from home while you snuggled up against her, doing your best not to distract her. You knew she preferred to keep you out of her work life, but you couldn’t resist stopping by her office every once in a while with lunch, or even just a spare coffee it that was all you had time for.

As for the wedding, you hadn’t even talked about a date yet, neither of you were in a rush over it, it was something you knew would happen in the end, you just wanted to enjoy your lives together. Once you both had a little more spare time you were sure you’d start to hash out the smaller details, the things that didn’t need the major commitments. For now it was Pinterest boards and Sophie vicariously living through you rattling off idea after idea as you laughed and told her she needed to calm down.

The one consistent thing in your life was that Olivia was still incredibly awkward around you, especially for being a cop. Even after the small conversation you’d exchanged at the engagement party, you thought maybe things would turn up from there, that maybe she’d start to get to know you and judge you a little less…or…whatever it was. Nearly everytime she came though the E.R she’d do her best to avoid you, and if you were on the case, she usually let whoever she was with talk to you while she talked to the vic. Or pass it off to another nurse. As the time went on, it was starting to piss you off a bit, she was supposedly a mature adult, why couldn’t she just be professional? You didn’t really care if she didn’t like you, you were just genuinely curious as to _why._

When you noticed her coming in the E.R doors (alone) you sighed lightly as she approached the nurses station metaphorical guns blazing, whatever she needed was clearly important and urgent.

“Captain Benson.” You smiled, “what can I do for you?”

“I need a statement from whoever treated Alyssa Martinez. She came in two nights ago? Barba won’t give us enough for an arrest without it.”

“Yeah sure.” You popped down onto the computer, you remembered helping out a girl named Alyssa but couldn’t remember the last name, and you could’ve sworn there was more than one patient with the same name that night. Not to mention the last three days all kinda blurred together with the amount of overtime you’d picked up. “Ah.” You hit the print button on the page, “that would be me. I can page the doctor too if you need their’s?”

“Oh, uh. No it’s fine. Can you come down to the precinct when you’re done? I’ll get Carisi to take your statement.”

“I’ve..got time now.”

“Oh I don’t want to cut into your lunch break or anything.”

“I’m not on lunch,” you laughed, “I just don’t wanna curse things and say the Q word.”

“Carisi’s more up to date on the case, it’ll be better if he takes it.”

“Okay..” you submitted, “I should be there around five.”

“Thanks.” Turning she was gone down a hall before you could get another word in. Sophie glanced over at you from the other computer.

“That was fucking weird.”

“Tell me about it.” You rolled your eyes, stashing the printed papers for later, “sorry I’m making your boyfriend work late.”

“Nah, it’s fine. He came for breakfast this morning.”

“Adorable.” You smiled at her as her gaze moved above the counter.

“Looks like you get a treat today too.” You cocked a brow at her, popping up to standing behind the desk, a bright smile broke out as you saw Rita moving through the room.

“Baby!” You greeted her with a hug and a warm kiss, “what’re you doing here? I thought you were in court today?”

“I was.” She kissed your cheek, then placed a bag down on the counter, “ I can’t stay, but I wanted to make sure my darling girl got a decent lunch.” Your heart warmed at the sentiment, but you couldn’t help but tease anyways.

“ _I’m_ not the one here who forgets to eat.”

“Did you want the receipt for proof that I ate too?”

“No.” You laughed, “I trust you. Thank you.” You kissed her cheek softly, “also I won’t be home on time tonight. I need to go down to SVU to make a statement.” Rita’s brow scrunched, 

“I could’ve sworn I saw Benson on my way in.”

“Yeah, she’s got some issue with me. I think she hates me.”

“I’m sure that’s not it darling.” She squeezed your hand reassuringly, “Oliva can be very hot and cold. I’ve defended her and members of her squad before, even thought of us as friends, but you pick one case that she doesn’t like and suddenly she’s holding grudges. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“I mean, really all that matters is that you love me. That’s all I need.” You kissed her softly, “thank you for that. And for lunch. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

A code going off down the hall interuppted your next words, sighing heavily you pecked her cheek quickly, saying a quick goodbye as you and Sophie half jogged down the hall.

“Y’know, sometimes you make me want to vomit.”

“Oh please! Carisi’s just as bad.”

“He’s adorable yes, but Rita’s a whole other level of doting.”

You laughed, but she was right, Rita always had and always would be the softest person you knew, which so heavily contrasted with her in the courtroom. You knew how fierce she was, you were glad that side of her wasn’t one you had to deal with. And incredibly grateful every day that she chose to love you.

As the afternoon finally wound down, you packed up your things and made you way down to the 16th. You were surprised when you stepped out of the elevator to find Sonny waiting for it, coat on ready to leave.

“Y/n, hey. What’re ya doin’ here?”

“Uh…Benson told me to meet _you_ to make a statement for a case?”

“Oh?” He paused, his brow furrowing, “the Martinez case?”

“Yeah.”

“Cap said you weren’t available, but she got everything from the doctor. Guess she forgot to tell me ya were comin’ down.”

“So you don’t need my statement?”

“Guess not.” He shrugged.

“Alright…I guess I’ll walk you out then.”

You turned back into the elevator, making pleasant small talk with Sonny before saying your goodbyes and making your separate ways. At least now you’d be home in time to have dinner with Rita, you knew you’d planned on catching up with some of the black and white movies you still had left on the list and that would be the perfect way to end a weird day.

*

Olivia’s eyes scrunched in a wince before she cracked them open, the steady beeping of something already annoying her. A small groan came from her throat as she shifting, moving more into a seated position in the bed, as her vision started to clear she realized the scrubbed figure in front of her was you.

“You know, when I said I didn’t wanna see any of your squad in here that included you, right?” You half teased as you finished writing her most recent vitals in your chart.

“What happened?”

“You passed out. Apparently on your way out to lunch with Barba.” Olivia sighed, leaning back into the pillow as it slowly came back to her. “Did you eat breakfast?”

“No.”

“Didn’t think so.” You sighed, “I’ve got to take some blood to run a couple more tests just to make sure, is that okay?”

“Yeah.” 

Gloving up you moved to the bedside, making sure her IV still had enough fluids in it to keep her hydration up before you picked up the needle. She noticed the cotton ball taped to the inside of your arm.

“They doing a blood drive today?”

“Hm?” You glanced down, “oh, no. Anytime anyone with AB neg comes in it reminds me to donate. This is gonna prick a little.”

“You’re universal?”

“No. AB neg just like you. It’s super rare you know, less than one percent of the population has it.”

“Hmm.” She replied in a mumble as you filled up two little vials. They sat on the tray table while you finished, pulling the needle out, prompting her to hold the cotton against her arm with pressure while you disposed of everything properly before bandaging it.

“Hate to say it but they’re swamped out there so you’re stuck with me.”

“Just do your job.” She mumbled. You rolled your eyes, thankful hers were closed again.

“I’m gonna update your chart and drop these at the lab, I’ll have someone bring some food by for you. It’s looking like a bit of exhaustion and low blood sugar, but we want to make sure before you’re discharged.”

“Yeah.” As usual, her replies were curt and to the point. Now that you’d finished the professional half of the conversation you huffed a sigh from the end of the bed.

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous.” That caused her to open her eyes, brow furrowing at your statement, “I don’t think you have anything against lesbians, but is it the fact that I’m engaged to a defence attorney that you hate? Or did you and Rita have some…thing in the past? She was weird after the engagement party too and I just don’t understand what your problem with me is.”

“I- what?” Olivia was way to brain scrambled to try and figure this out right now, “I’ve got no history with Rita, I don’t hate you. I just..try to give you two a bit of privacy.”

“Weird way of showing it.” You muttered before turning from the room.

You dropped off what you needed at the lab, after updating her chart and going over it with a doctor, they advised you to pull up medical history for them to go over it just to make sure nothing was being missed. Usually, you would pull up the files, print them if they were electronic and add it to the chart, the doctor being the one going over them. But there was a date listed when Olivia had been admitted that caught your eye and before you knew it you were halfway through that page of history. 

You only pulled yourself out of your trance when Sophie swinging around the corner into the nurses station. Flipping the pages shut, you added them into Olivia’s chart, grabbed a few supplies and headed back into her room. You double checked her vitals, adding the most recent into her chart before you moved bedside again.

“I’ve got to take one more blood sample.”

“Again?”

“Yeah. The lab’s a bit of a mess right now, an intern broke the vial. It’ll be quick and then I’m out of your hair.”

“Fine.” She admitted, letting you do what you needed. Not that she would’ve refused, you were the medical professional after all, she was just anxious to get back to her squad.

“Thanks.” 

You gave her a tight smile before practically dashing out of the room, thankful to see a nurse coming around with the promised food as you did. Less than half an hour later you were down at the lab, slipping in a silent bribe to the tech,

“I need these ran to see if there’s a match.” He picked up the two small bags from you.

“Jane Doe A and Jane Doe B?”

“Please?” You begged, “c’mon, you owe me one.”

“Fine.”

“You’re the best! And…can you rush it? I need it for the end of the day.” He rolled his eyes, but agreed thankfully. You may now end up having to pull something in return when he needed it, but honestly, this was important and you couldn’t wait a week to piece everything together.

To say you were scatterbrained the rest of the day would’ve been completely accurate. You did a few rounds of checking in on patients, trying your best to keep yourself to paperwork, even taking on other’s so that you didn’t fuck something up because you weren’t paying attention. When your shift was over you were bummed the lab hadn’t paged you yet, tempted to stick around a little bit longer, but you knew Rita would worry if she got home and you weren’t there. Sighing, you began to pack up your things, punching out and pulling on your coat. You were just around the corner from the door when you heard Melinda’s voice call out to you.

“Y/N!” You turned back to her, heart jumping into your chest for multiple reasons, mainly hoping that you weren’t in trouble with her.

“Yeah?”

“Brandon said you needed these results today.” She handed over the file, instinctively you flipped it open, but then remembered you had no idea how to read results like this.

“Is it a match?”

“Partial. It’s a maternal match. Jane Doe A is Jane Doe B’s mother.”

“You’re sure?”

“DNA doesn’t lie.”

Well fuck.

“Okay..thanks Melinda.”

“You want me to drop that off somewhere?”

“Uh, no it’s fine. I’ll circle back. Night.”

“Night.” She gave you a nod before retreating back to the stairwell. You tucked the file into your bag, scrambling for your phone as you scurried out into the parking lot where no one would overhear you.

“Are you at home?” 

“Darling are you alright?” Rita could hear the hint of..something..in your voice and was instantly worried.

“Yeah. I think. Uh…I may have done a large handful of very unethical things today….”

“Is this your way of asking if I’ll represent you? Because you know the answer is always yes.”

“No.” You gave a shaky laugh, “I’m not in trouble..at least..not yet? I just..I just found something out and I need you to be home so I can freak out to someone I trust.”

“Okay.” She replied steadily, the warmth in her voice already calming you, “I’m already home. I’ll make sure there’s wine waiting for you.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Hanging up your phone you chucked it back into your bag, pausing a moment to take a steady breath. You finally knew why Olivia was always so weird around you, why she looked like she’d seen a ghost the first time you popped up at the precinct. The reason she seemed less than thrilled about you marrying Rita until she saw the two of you actually together. It made even more sense as to why she bailed as fast as she could after your Mom showed up at the engagement party. She didn’t hate you…she was your biological mother. And despite managing to keep out of each other’s lives for thirty years, your world’s were suddenly more intertwined than you’d ever imagined.


	7. Chapter 7

Rita’s head shot up at the sound of your keys in the door, she wasn’t quite sure what was going on with you and obviously wanted to find out, hoping that she could help fix it. She moved toward you as you dumped you bag, hanging up your coat, quickly turning to her.

“Sweetheart…” her arms wrapped around you and you gave a wavering sigh as you sunk into her embrace, the warmth immediately bringing you some peace. You felt some of the anxiety begin to melt away as her hands rubbed at your back, her lips hit your head gently.

“Thank you.” You murmured, tugging away enough so you could kiss her. Rita’s hand cupped at your cheek while the other one passed you the waiting wine glass.

“You seem pretty frazzled darling…how unethical are we talking here?”

“Uhm…you mean lying to a patient in order to get another blood sample and then ordering an expensive and very unnecessary lab to test it against my own?” You quickly sucked back a large gulp of wine, honestly half embarrassed at your actions.

“Okay…I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that because you are definitely branching into the world of illegal.”

“I found my birth mother….” 

“Oh?” You felt the anxiety bubbling up inside you again as everything began pouring out, the wine found a home on the island while you started to pace, your words tumbling out of your mouth.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m freaking out a bit. I mean, I thought she had some weird vendetta against me for who know’s what reason. I started thinking it had something to do with you, maybe you had history together, but it turns out it’s probably because she’s freaked her daughter’s marrying someone a mere five years younger than her. I mean, I knew she had me at fifteen so she wouldn’t be that old, but the whole warped way that she’s come into my life. It was a damn downward spiral, the moment she turned up in the E.R, the blood type, things started to make sense, I had to pry, I had to figure it out and now part of me’s almost wishing I _didn’t_ know. How am I supposed to just go on in life _knowing_ and having her around and what? Just pretend that I don’t know? I mean, I guess she managed to do it. Or do I admit I know? Do I try to get to know her? How does that even work? What’s her relationship to me when she’s my Mom but didn’t raise me, she doesn’t _really_ know me.”

Rita’s hands grasped at your arms, stilling you in both your pacing and your ranting, your attention suddenly redirected to her.

“Darling…breathe…”

“I know…sorry…” you reached out for your wine, gulping back half the glass while you attempted to calm down.

“You said she was in the hospital, is Liv okay?” Rita’s question had you frozen, glass halfway back to the island.

“I never said anything about Olivia…”

_Fuck._

You took a step back, removing yourself from her arms as realization swept over your face. The previous confusement replaced with a hint of betrayal.

“You _knew?”_

“I-“

“How long have you known?! How long did you let me think that she _hated_ me? Have you been lying to me this entire time!?”

“I never once lied. I was simply withholding a piece of truthful information.”

“Oh don’t pull your lawyer bullshit on me Rita!” You stepped back closer to her, your emotions were all over the place right now and you didn’t have the patience to deal with her trying to weasel her way out of this discussion.

“I’m not trying to. I just need you to calm down, think rationally about this for a minute.”

“Think rationally?! I just found out my biological mom has been all over my life recently, hell she was at my engagement party and I was denied the privilege of even knowing that! How long were you keeping this from me?” Rita sighed heavily,

“A few days after proposing.”

“And what? She just up and told you because she was concerned about my choice of life partner?”

“No…” she pinched at the bridge of her nose, “I pressured her into telling me. I knew she was startled the first time she saw you and I thought maybe it had something to do with an old case. That there was something criminal related that you didn’t know about, I was just trying to protect you. Besides, you’d never said anything about wanting to meet your birth parents before.”

“That doesn’t mean I wasn’t curious!” Taking a shaky breath you pushed your hair back, “I know I was lucky as hell to have the upbringing I did, but there’s always a part of my brain that wonders why she gave me up. And the bigger part of why she decided to stop visiting! Like what, I turn two and suddenly I’m too old for you? Why up and leave out of nowhere? I get it, she was young, but she at least _used_ to love me, even if it was only a sliver of her heart, I was still in it. How do you just stop caring about somebody like that?”

Rita felt her heart absolutely crumbling as she watched you break in front of her. She’d never once seen you like this and she wasn’t entirely sure what she was supposed to do.

“Sweetheart…” stepping toward you she hesitantly reached out, giving your hand a soft squeeze, “I’m sure that’s not what happened.”

“Oh God…” the tears were fully starting, “I feel like I can’t breathe.” Pushing past her you scooped up your coat and bag, pulling the door open.

“Y/n!” You felt Rita’s hands around you, vaguely feeling the way you roughly shoved her off you.

“I need some air!” You practically bolted to the stairwell, the door falling shut behind you as you hurried down the stairs.

Rita’s shoulders slumped at the sight of you practically running away from her. She knew she was at fault here, at least partially, she should’ve tried to reason with Benson, get her to talk to you instead of just being distant. She wanted to go after you, but knew there would be no good in that, the last thing she wanted was to upset you even more. You had your phone, it wasn’t even dark out yet, you’d be fine, and hopefully be back before she realized. 

Even more so she hated that over the last couple of months, your relationship had been under a pile of stress, she’d attempted to bury it with affection but everything just came blowing back up in her face. Ever since she’d given you the ring, things were fine for a couple of days, and then it became a world of secret keeping and avoidance that lead to the events today. The two of you rarely fought, and when you did it was usually only small bickering matches, and you certainly had never ran out of the house like that. She swore, if she lost you because of Olivia Benson she would never let the woman live it down.

*

You weren’t even sure how long it had been, but you were aware of the skies beginning to darken around the city as you meandered through the park. Originally you really had just been having some form of anxiety attack, just being outside and in the slightly chilled air helped you calm down. You absentmindedly wandered down to the park, eager to burn off the pent up energy vibrating just under your skin. Eventually you found home on a bench, watching the water while your brain tried to process everything that happened in the last twelve hours. 

You definitely weren’t totally sure how you’d ended up where you were, but for once you just followed your instincts and your gut, leaving your brain out of it for once. After all, wasn’t that what you’d done earlier? You timidly reached out a hand, knocking on the apartment door, suddenly feeling like you were ten years old again.

“Y/N? I…didn’t realize nurses made follow up home visits.” Olivia half teased, okay, you were at least somewhat headed in the right direction. “How did you even find out where I lived?”

“Let’s just say I’ve done a number of frowned upon things today and figured why quit while I’m ahead? But maybe let’s not talk about that because I’m suddenly remembering you’re a cop.”

“Is…everything okay?”

“No. And I got into it with Rita and that’s really not helping.”

“Over a case?”

“Not exactly….” She noticed the red of your eyes, the way you were wrapped around yourself and half avoiding her eyes.

“Did..you want to come in?”

“Please.”

“Have a seat.” She gestured to the couch before locking the door, briefly pit stopping in the kitchen, handing you a glass of wine as she settled into the arm chair perpendicular to you.

“Thanks.” You muttered, taking a sip. “I’m sorry for showing up here like this, I just…wasn’t sure what else to do…”

“Okay?”

“I _know…_ ” your eyes flicked up to hers, watering with tears.

“Rita told you?”

“No.” You took a heavy breath, “though that’s why we got into it. But…something just clicked at the hospital. Dr Klassen had me pull your medical history, I saw an admitting form with the same date that I was born and I just had to know. You can deny it all you want but the DNA doesn’t lie.”

“That would be the unethical part? There was no lab mess up?”

“No..” you wiped at a stray tear, “those vials are basically indestructible. Sorry..for, invading your privacy and all.”

“Wanna talk immoral I once ran my DNA through the system to see if I had any other relatives and ended up tracking down a half brother. So, I think we’re even on that front.” You let out a watery laugh, at least you knew she wasn’t going to go full cop on you for breaking the rules.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Olivia felt her heart quicken, knowing the types of questions you must have.

“I know you were only fifteen…and that neither of us would be where we are in life if you hadn’t given me up..but..why…why did you stop visiting? Did you…not want me _at all_ anymore?”

“Oh sweetheart…” her own eyes began to fill with the tears she thought she might have been able to hold back, “I wanted to keep you. I _really_ did. I fought tooth and nail with my Mother over it. A Counsellor at the clinic was the one that helped me realize how much work it would be, and my Mother…wasn’t exactly present, I’d have no support. They suggested open adoption as the best option so that I would still get to see you grow up, and that I’d know you had a good life, a far better one than I could have _ever _given you.”__

__“Okay…”_ _

__“When you were born I almost took it all back, getting to see you, hold you for the first time. It _destroyed_ me having to hand you off to people I’d known less than eight months.”_ _

__“But you used to visit..when I was a baby?”_ _

__“I adored _every second_ I got to spend with you. And then it started to tear me apart, having to leave you behind, knowing that you’d potentially grow up thinking I was your Aunt or something. I wanted a baby more than anything, and have ever since. I wanted to be the one raising you, not just watching you grow up from afar. My Mother was already drinking so heavily, watching her granddaughter being raised by other people was too much for her too, she went off the deep end, I was nearly flunking out of school. After talking with your parents we decided that it was best for everyone if I stopped visiting, they sent a few pictures, letters, over the years but that was the only contact.”_ _

__“So it wasn’t that you never loved me?”_ _

__Olivia couldn’t help it, call it a maternal instinct, say it was her years of working with fragile victims but she wasn’t about to let her own flesh and blood cry without comforting her. Swiftly moving beside you on the couch she wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into a hug, her body relaxing at the embrace of actually hugging you for the first time in years._ _

__“No…not at all. If anything it was that I loved you too much and I knew it was just going to get worse.” You sniffed, feeling her hand brush away a few tears, “when you walked into my squad room my heart just about stopped. I was so worried you were a victim, then I briefly thought you might be the girl Carisi was seeing,” you couldn’t help but snort over that one, “then I was just confused.” You gently pulled out of the hug, pulling your leg under you so you were properly facing her._ _

__“Are…you…okay with me being with Rita?”_ _

__“I have zero problem with you being gay if that’s what you mean.”_ _

__“And the age difference?” You winced._ _

__“I have no say in who you love, or who you marry. Even if I raised you, you’re an adult, and I trust you to make your own choices. While Rita has thrown me a fair share of surprises this year, I know how much she cares about you. Seeing the two of you together at the engagement party? You’re completely enamoured by each other, and you’re going to continue to make each other incredibly happy, I know it.”_ _

__“Thanks.” You sighed, wiping the last of the tears from your cheek. “Where…do we go from here? I mean, it appears we can’t completely keep out of each other’s lives, but…I can steer clear from the precinct, hand off patients to someone else?”_ _

__“Oh, no! Honestly we all prefer when it’s you and Sophie, you actually have more of an understanding of how to deal with it. And…we can figure things out. I never meant to come across like I didn’t like you, I just didn’t know how to approach the entire thing.”_ _

__“Just waited for me to commit a few HIPPA violations to figure it out.” You joked._ _

__“Okay, let’s not go there. Besides, you’ve got the best defence attorney in the country at your side.”_ _

__“True.” You smiled weakly, “uhm…I would really like to get to know you, if…you’re okay with that?”_ _

__“I would _really_ like that.” She smiled back at you, and honestly, you felt your heart warm, knowing that she wanted to know you, unlike the complete opposite of what you had thought._ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__“We can grab coffee next week?” Her hand reached out to the side table, picking up a business card, “my cell’s on the back. But now…I think you should get home because I know there is a very worried fiancée waiting for you.”_ _

__“Oh! _Fuck._ ” Your hand shot to your pocket, and sure enough there were a few missed calls from Rita, “I didn’t even realize how long I’ve been gone, shit.” Olivia laughed softly as you both rose from the couch, moving back over to the door. “Thank you.” You smiled, and easily accepted the soft hug that she bid you goodbye with, not missing the call for you to get home safe._ _

__Flagging down a cab, you were thankful to be home within twenty minutes, hating that you’d kept Rita waiting so long already, time had simply slipped by without you even noticing. You weren’t surprised to find her on the couch, her head shooting back at the sound of the door opening, half of you was a little surprised she wasn’t working though._ _

__She quickly moved though the room to you and you fell into each other’s arms in a tight warm hug, the love wrapping around the two of you while you murmured apologies to each other, the previous words of the day fading away completely. You forgave her for not mentioning it, knowing that Liv was the one that asked her to do so. She wasn’t aiming to hurt you, she was just aiming to keep a friend’s trust, and you could value that. Rita curled you against her on the couch, kissing your head softly while the two of you polished off the bottle of wine from earlier, she listened to you get out your emotions, talking over the conversation you’d had with Olivia, and how you hoped things would begin to move forward positively. She admired the way the two of you were working things out, and reassured you that she loved you no matter what happened._ _

__After all, that was all that mattered._ _


	8. Chapter 8

To be completely honest, your first coffee meeting with Olivia was pretty awkward, neither of you were sure about how exactly to go about the situation. The first at least twenty minutes were awkward small talk, weird laughs and the like until you managed to fall into a bit of a rhythm with each other. Subconciously, something within the two of you said maybe it would be less weird if you weren’t cramped at a small table surrounded by people in a café and you ended up wandering through Central Park instead.

The fresh air and distraction of other sights had your awkwardness vanishing. You couldn’t help but smile and reminisce on the memory of one of the first dates Rita had brought you on in the park right before Christmas. You’d snuggled up with hot chocolate after a wonderful dinner, strolling through the park arm in arm while a very unexpected soft snowfall began. It may have been something like your fifth date, but you knew on that night that you loved her and wanted to spend your life with her. Olivia couldn’t help but smile at the way you told the story, the dreamy look in your eyes, the goofy smile on your face making her feel warm inside, you truly had found your perfect person. 

You asked about the brother she’d tracked down, and gave your condolences when she admitted that he’d since passed away. She asked if you had any siblings and you shook your head, saying that one was all your parents ever wanted. You told her the embarrassing stories of your first date (with some weird junior high boy) and the panicked way you’d come out to your parents (though they’d obviously been more than supportive). She was incredibly happy to hear that your life had been what she’d hoped, happy, full of love and surrounded by good people and experiences. While the topic of family was on the table, you brought up that Rita had mentioned Olivia had been in the process of beginning to foster a baby boy, and she beamed at the topic. Ever so happy to finally have a baby that she knew she could provide for and your chest warmed for her, knowing she had been praying and hoping for it for decades.

You delved more than a little bit into each other’s careers, and you were more than surprised with the amount of risky situations she’d been through. Sure, you knew being a cop could be dangerous but Olivia seemed to have gone through more than you could’ve ever imagined for one person. You commended her for her strength and perservance. Olivia on the other hand was incredibly proud of how far you’d come, not only going to nursing school, but being the top of your class and securing such an important spot at a major hospital. She already knew you were good at what you did but now she knew why.

You indulged a little more into your relationship with Rita, knowing that she was curious and knowing which stories Rita wouldn’t mind being mentioned. As you talked about just how easy it was to fall in love with her, the way she treated you so incredibly soft, the way she always made you her first priority, it made Olivia realize how little she knew about the other woman. Sure, she knew that the two of you loved each other unconditionally, but now she knew just how much.

Before you knew it, you’d reached the other side of the park and half the afternoon was gone. Both of you were more than happy with the way the day had gone, and made sure you had plans to meet up for lunch a couple of weeks down the road before parting ways.

That night Rita slightly hesitantly asked you how it went and you burst into a grin, telling her all about it. She was more than thrilled, wrapping you in a deep hug as she kissed you. As much as she knew there were a million ways this could’ve gone, she was incredibly happy that things were moving in the right direction.

Olivia and you began to meet on a pretty regular basis and your relationship was forming quicker than you ever could have thought. There was still a slight awkwardness since she was your Mom, but wasn’t really your Mom. Like, should she really know the story about how you lost your virginity? Or any of your partying times in college. Not to mention the time you were stressed studying for finals and popped a couple of Adderalls, though…maybe that was because she was a cop. You still kept the channel open, and were pleasantly pleased when she did the same.

A month or so later you had more than enough of an excuse to swing by the squad room. Sofie had basically been transferred over to Bellevue. While her position at Mercy was still closed and waiting for her, Bellevue needed extra help and she was willing to go, honestly, you were next on the list, eager or a light change up. Because it had been so abrupt she’d texted you to grab a handful of things out of her locker that you packed up into a bag before making your way to the one six.

“Y/N! Didn’t expect to see you today.” Carisi greeted you with a warm hug.

“I’m here running errands…can you take this home to Soph?” You handed him the bag.

“‘Course.” He shot you a dopey grin, no likely proud that they’d just moved in together. He was adoringly cute every time their relationship hit a new milestone. Honestly, you wouldn’t even be surprised if they ended up married before you, Sonny loved Sophie more than you could ever imagine.

“Thanks Son.” You gave his arm a squeeze, moving from his desk.

“Hey wait, one of those is mine?!” He gesured to the tray of coffee in your hand that you simply laughed and shook your head at. You hand knocked briefly on Benson’s door before you heard her greeting, pushing the door open.

“Hey..what’re you doing here?” She smiled as you shut the door behind you.

“Had to drop some stuff off to Carisi, figured you could use the good caffeine boost.” You handed her the cup, “Rita’s mentioned how horrible precinct coffee can be.”

“Thanks.” Olivia laughed, “she’s not wrong on that one. Are you off today?”

“Yeah.” You sighed, “well, kinda. I worked overnight so I was done at ten a.m. But Sophie’s doing a stint at Bellevue, they’re short nurses right now and we just got a new influx, so…”

“Are you gonna head over there?”

“Probably. They’re offering us bonuses if we do, so why not?” You laughed. “A lot of it’s in the prison ward. I mean, transfers are the bottom of the totem pole, but it’s only temporary so why not?”

“Makes sense.”

“How’s lil Noah?” You smiled, knowing how much Oliva adored finally having a baby in her life, one that she actually got to raise.

“He’s…wonderful.” She smiled brightly, “everything I wish I could have had in the past.”

“I’m glad.” You smiled in return. “You ever need help babysitting or anything let me know.”

“You sure Calhoun’s okay with that?” You barked a laugh, 

“Oh I mean at your apartment! Rita would never let a baby anywhere _near_ her Prada collection.”

“I take it there’s no kids in your future then?”

“No.” You laughed, shaking your head, “I like them, but the idea of being responsible for one full time freaks me out.”

“Understandable.” Oliva smiled back at you. A brief knock at her door interrupted your conversation.

“Captain Benson?” Rita’s voice broke through your revere, both of your heads turning toward the door.

“I’ll get out of your hair.” You smiled at Oliva, picking yup your coffee.

“Oh what, you don’t bring me one?” Rita teased with a smile as she pecked your lips softy.

“If I’d known you were here I would.” You retorted, kissing the tip of her nose softly, “I’ll see you for dinner?”

“Of course darling.” She gave you a gentle smile as you shot a wave to Olivia, leaving the office. She turned to the Captain as she sat in the chair across from her desk, “what?” Olivia chuckled

“I’m just not this used to seeing you so soft Counsellor.” Rita rolled her eyes.

“Well you’re privileged to part of our life that no one else is now...I hope you respect that.”

“I do.” Oliva smiled “I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard of two people more in love than the two of you.” Rita could barely help the burning of her cheeks.

“Thank you, I guess.”

“More importantly, what are you here for work wise?” Olivia cut to the chase, their personal relationship aside, this one was more important.

*

It was a couple of weeks later, Mercy was ever so swamped with nurses and interns from a merger between hospitals and you couldn’t wait to join your best friend over at Bellevue over the next couple of weeks while things calmed down. 

In the meantime, you were settled into a booth at Forlini’s across from Olivia. The restaurant was no stranger to you, having met Rita there on many a lunch breaks from court before. You happily settled into your regular regime, exchanging stories of the past week and the like. If you had new wedding details, you’d always share them, though there normally wasn’t much, taking as much time as you’d like to plan. 

You’d felt a little nervous all morning, and Oliva could sense your jitters as the meal went on, but didn’t press it. You asked a few things about work before the wedding came back into the circulation of the conversation. You took a shaky breath, 

“I…uh…I wanted to ask you something.”

“Okay?” The brunette paused, looking up at you across the table, the hesitation splayed across your face.

“Uhm..it’s…always been the deal in my family that we kinda do things weird..instead of being walked down the aisle by our Dad’s..we go with out Mom’s.” You dared glance up at her with that information, “and I’d….like to ask if you’d accompany my and my Mom down the aisle…”

“Really?” Olivia’s breath caught in her through as she glanced up at you, the request coming totally out of left field.

“Yeah..” you nodded, “I’ve already asked Mom and she’s more than okay with it. She knows we’ve been getting to know each other and she’s thrilled. I already know I want you there on the most special day of my life, but to officially help give me away would be more than I could ever ask for.”

“I would be honoured.” Olivia’s hand reached out, squeezing yours across the table top. “You know, I have to say, despite the very unconventional way we came back into each other’s lives, I’m incredibly happy we did.”

“Me too.” You shot her a soft smile just as you heard the comment echo through the room, the sarcasm dripping against his words and both your eyes were brought up to Rafael Barba. He stalled slightly, greeting Oliva, and you were more than thrilled, a grin splitting you cheeks as you realized Rita was following him.

“How’s my darling girl doing?” She asked, greeting you with the worlds most gentle kiss.

“Always fantastic, but better now.” You murmured, kissing her again, not a care in the world at your audience.

“I don’t understand how you manage to sicken me with your love and destroy me with your arguments in the same sentence.” Rafael half joked, and Rita shot him a glare that could’ve killed him in that second. She cupped your cheek softly, 

“I’ll see you for dinner?”

“Of course my love.” You sofly kissed her, holding on extra long just to annoy Barba, your lips curving at the sound of his scoff before she moved on with a quick nod. 

“You two really just love torturing him don’t you?” Liv joked and you laughed, admitting that you were really just playing into Rita’s game when it came to that, but you did enjoy it.

You wrapped up lunch shortly after that, waving a goodbye to your other friends as you stepped onto the New York sidewalks. You were very pleasantly surprised that you and Olivia had been able to not only pursue a relationship like this, but that it had been able to become this strong over only a handful of months.

Olivia had loved you from the moment you were born, and despite the near thirty years that kept you apart, she had thought about you nearly every day since then. Now that you were back in her life she would do anything to keep it like that, she wanted to know everything about you. Over these past couple of months she’d learnt more than she could ever imagine and was so incredibly happy. You’d grown into such a wonderful and incredible young woman and she couldn’t wait to see where you went from there. The more she got to know you, the more she loved you, the more she wanted to make sure you were safe and protected no matter what. She knew you were an adult, and that shit happened, but part of her still wanted to make sure that you and Noah’s health and safety took priority over others. She knew she was being biased, but you were technically her kid, and her kid deserved the best.

She knew you had the best home, and relationship wise Rita was the greatest thing that could’ve ever happened to you. But she wanted to make sure that outside of that relationship you were safe and who knew what kind of gong shows were coming when it came to your professional life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with a LOT.   
> Warnings: Language, kidnapping, assault, blood and other injuries.

While you were excited for the change of scenery, you were honestly much more excited about seeing your best friend again. It had been a few months by now, both of you busy with work and more that you hadn’t seen each other since Sophie’s last day at Mercy, only communicating through a small handful of texts. You practically bounded into the patient room, missing the cop posted outside the door, launching into a hug with her once you noticed the patient was unconscious.

“Oh my god! You’re finally here!” She greeted enthusiastically, “it was getting boring around here without you!”

“It’s good to see you too.” You laughed, reaching for the chart, “what’s this guy in for?”

“Multiple rapes and murders, I think I heard he kidnapped a cop?”

“I meant medically….but thanks for the heads up, I will not uncuff him when he tries to bribe me later.” You flipped through his chart as Sophie laughed.

“So….any new wedding plans I should know about? What’s the hot gossip?”

“Nothing wedding related,” you laughed, “but I do have some big news.” Sophie gasped dramatically, 

“Oh my God! Did you guys change your mind on the kid front? Are you pregnant?!”

“No.” Your face scrunched, “do you think Rita would let me anywhere near a prison ward if I was pregnant?”

“Good point.” She nodded.

“I..found my birth Mom.”

“Oh?! What’s she like?”

“You actually already know her.”

“I do?”

“Olivia…”

“Captain Benson?” You nodded, “talk about a small world.”

“I know!” You moved from the foot of the bed as you checked the man’s vitals, beginning to draw some blood, “we’ve been hanging out on a pretty regular basis the past couple of months. She’s honestly incredible, so sweet, but also a major bad ass at the same time.”

“Safe to say you’re getting along then?”

“Enough that she’s giving me away at the wedding, yeah.”

“Y/n that’s incredible.”

“It’s like..everything’s kinda come full circle and fallen into place perfectly.” You smiled, “I couldn’t be happier.”

“I’m glad.”

“Okay.” You popped the top on the vial, “his vitals are fine. I’ll page cardio but I know they’re backed up right now so it might be a while.”

“It’s fine.” Sophie waved it off, “he’s not 911. I’ll keep an eye on things.”

“I’ll drop this off at the lab and do a round before I come back. Lunch on me?”

“Sounds perfect.” Sophie shot you a grin as you left the room. You were so thankful to have your best friend back in your daily life, as much as everything was falling into place in your personal life, your professional life always enjoyed a little bit of a shake up. You supposed that’s why you got into nursing, as much as it was a lot of paperwork or idly waiting for tradgedy to strike, there was a certain thrill element that gave you a rush, helped retain your interest to keep going to work every day.

It didn’t take long for you to find the lab, you managed to run into a cardiologist on the way and after running over the info they agreed it wasn’t a top priority, but to keep checking in just in case something went awry.

*

“Cap!” Carisi swung into Olivia’s office, a fire burning in his gut, the stiffness evident in his voice as he glanced up, realizing that Rita was sitting across from Olivia’s desk. “Sorry for interruptin’ but we have a problem.”

“What’s going on?”

“Lewis is gone.”

“ _What_? How?”

“I dunno. He assaulted Sophie, left her tied up in the bathroom.” His voice was nearly a low growl as he admitted it, “they’re trying to track down Y/N right now.”

“What do you mean _track her down?!”_ Rita turned in the chair, fully paying attention to the conversation, her heart already picking up in her chest, you weren’t one to just ditch the job.

“She was the last one in the room with the two of ‘em. Soph said she went to drop off labs and find someone from cardio. She also said…and I hate ta pry like this but they had a conversation about you bein’ Y/N’s birth mother in the room. They thought he was unconscious, but there’s a chance Lewis knows she’s your daughter.”

“Have you tried calling her?” Rita shot back, “page her! It’s a goddamn hospital!” Sonny nearly shrunk at the woman’s tone, it was already shifting into her courtroom voice, and despite his own raging emotions he wasn’t about to battle with hers. Thankfully they were saved by Liv’s phone going off, 

“It’s her.” She stated before picking up, “sweetheart we’re on our way now. Stay with Sophie we’ll be there in twenty.” The dark chuckle on the other end of the phone made her blood run cold.

“Captain Benson…I had no idea you had such a pretty young thing for a daughter.” Lewis’ voice drawled through the line.

“You do not lay a hand on her!”

Rita’s head snapped toward the other woman, a warning glare already in her eyes as her jaw clenched, how the hell did this happen? Olivia heard a muffled cry from the other side of the phone before Lewis spoke again, this time his voice a little distant as he directed his comment to you.

“I thought I told you to be quiet.” Oliva jumped at the sound of something colliding with your head and then Lewis was back on the line with her, “I couldn’t get you, guess I’ll have to settle for the next best thing. I wonder if she’s as fiesty as you were. What do you think? Will she put up as much of a fight?”

“Lewis!”- the line went dead. 

“ _Find them now.”_ Rita practically growled toward Benson, who held up a warning hand.

“Rita..”

“No. Three years…three _fucking_ years I have kept her out of this kind of world, and completely safe! She was fine! She was totally out of harms way for _three years_! Three _months_ knowing that you’re her Mom and she gets _abducted?!”_

“She’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that. Goddammit Olivia! This is William Lewis we’re talking about! He managed to kidnap, torture and nearly rape and kill _you_! You’re a cop! You’re trained with guns, how to de-escalate high stress situations, how to fight! She doesn’t know any of that! Whatever the _fuck_ happens to her is _on you,_ I hope you realize that.”

“Counsellor…” Carisi warned gently. The shouting match in the office had brought attention of the rest of the squad, awkwardly hovering in the open doorway behind Carisi.

“No. She is my _world_. And I refuse to lose her. So you are going to walk out that door and you are going to do your fucking jobs and find her before he can lay a finger on her. Do I make myself clear?”

Olivia dropped her head into her hands, trying to hold it together while also trying to clear her head enough to make a game plan. Rita was right, Lewis was a force to be reckoned with. Her mind flashed back to the memories she’d tried so hard to keep buried down, the horrible emotional and physical pain brought on by those three days that she still had to live with every day. She wouldn’t wish it on anyone, especially her daughter, you’d done nothing to deserve this, simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong (hypothetical) last name. Taking a deep breath she wiped the stray tear, turning to her team.

“Carisi, go with Rollins to Bellevue. Get Sophie’s statement, get a bolo out on her car. Put a squad car on her and get one on Lucy and Noah. Rollins can follow the bolo, but you’re there as a boyfriend, not a cop. Understood?” He gave a tight nod, turning to his partner, “Fin, Amaro, track Y/N’s phone, even if he’s tossed it it’ll give us an idea of what direction they’re heading in. Start checking traffic cams and toll booths for any hint of Lewis. We have a slight advantage here, we know how he works.”

“We also know he probably wants to be found.” Rollins cut in, all eyes shot to her and she shrugged towards the Captain, “he wants you. He wants your attention, he just happens to have the best leverage he can get.”

“And what!?” Rita shot, “Y/n just becomes collateral damage?”

“It won’t come to that.” Olivia replied, “Rollins is right. Let’s get eyes on that beach house from last time. Go!” With that last urgency, the squad scattered, and fast. Liv turned back to the one woman left in her office, “Rita…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish I could promise you that she won’t be hurt but…”

“Just get her back to me. Please.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Tears flooded into Rita’s eyes, her previous anger burnt off, replaced with absolute terror of what this monster was capable of. If he could do as much damage to Benson as she’d seen, she didn’t even want to think about how you were going to come out of this…if you were going to at all. 

*  
A sudden burning against your abdomen wrenched you out of your unconscious state, a scream muffled by the duct tape over your lips.

“There she is.” The man chuckled, tossing the car’s cigarette lighter back to the front seat, “I thought I mighta’ hit you too hard princess.” You squirmed away as he traced down the side of your face with a stolen scalpel, “I’m gonna take this tape off now. If you so much as think about making a noise you’re dead you hear me?” He cocked an eye brow and you nodded, “good girl.” He stashed the scalpel into the front pocket of your scrub top, “we’ll save _that_ for later.”

You gasped for air the second the tape was off, your head still throbbing from the earlier hit you’d taken. Lewis tugged you out of the back seat of the car, you stumbled on your feet, having been shoved into such an uncomfortable angle for so long. You appeared to be at an off the beaten track gas station, he’d parked around back, a curve of trees hiding you from view from the highway. There was a second car parked nearby, you didn’t miss the trail of blood leading from it to the trunk of Sophie’s, trembling at the thought. Lewis chuckled as he quickly led you to the backseat of the stolen one.

“You’re much more compliant than Captain Benson was. It’s a shame she didn’t tell me she had a daughter…you’re much more my type.”

“Wh-“ you were cut off suddenly by another piece of tape sealing your lips shut. What did Liv have to do with this? Your brain scrambled as he roughly shoved you into the backseat, it suddenly became very clear when you remembered Sophie’s words to you earlier that afternoon. Multiple rapes and murders….a kidnapped cop. That cop had to be Olivia. You felt your eyes burn with tears, a shaky breath trying to escape you as you did your best not to think of what this man had in store for you. You half watched him pop the trunk, not liking the sound of the low whistle and laughter coming from that direction as he viewed its contents. You jolted when he reappeared in the doorway, 

“These are gonna be _much_ more fun, don’t ya think princess?” In his hand was a small collection of what looked like hunting or fishing knives. You specifically cringed at the serrated blade of one of them, not wanting to have any idea of what it felt like. He tossed all but one into the passanger seat, “shall we try this one out first?”

You instinctively jerked when his bony hand enclosed around your ankle, you were tempted to try and kick his face but you knew that wouldn’t do much good considering your position, your hands were bound, and he had a weapon in his hands, you wouldn’t make it far. The knife slipped under the leg of your pants, his hand swiftly moving upwards as it sliced through the fabric, he twisted it at the end, slicing into your thigh. The tears burning in your eyes began to slip through the cracks, streaking your face as the blood slowly leaked onto the torn fabric of your pants.

“Yeah…these’ll work much better.” Lewis laughed, slamming the back door shut before he moved to the drivers seat. “You’re such a good playmate princess.” Even just his gaze made you squirm, there had been no doubt in your mind that this man was a fucking monster earlier, but you were praying that somewhere down the road, he would fuck up, preferably sooner rather than later.

*

Back at the precinct Rita’s hands were shaking in her lap. In hindsight maybe that fourth cup of coffee wasn’t a good idea after all. It’s not like she was having trouble staying alert right now, her brain was shooting all of the horrible thoughts it could at her about what was potentially happening to you right now. She remembered hearing about his last case, the damage he’d done to so many people, Olivia included. While the other woman had never opened up about it to her, she knew her injuries had been bad, and she knew that Lewis enjoyed torturing his victims. For the sake of your sanity, there was a part of her that wished he would accidentally fuck up, killing you instantly. At least then she would know you hadn’t suffered too much. 

They’d found your phone on the side of the road where Lewis had ditched it after calling Liv, it wasn’t far from the hospital, but gave them a general idea that he might be heading South, though that didn’t make much sense. It was close enough to the Williamsburg Bridge that he could have potentially trapped himself on the peninsula and they began flooding the zone with uni’s.

Sophie’s car turned up at an isolated gas station fourty five minutes later. There was blood and hair in the backseat, and worst of all, a dead body in the trunk. They managed to thankfully ID him, and put a bolo out on all and any vehicles he owned the squad knew time was of the essence and they were slowly running out as the sun sank over the city.

Olivia glanced across the squad room, through the door to her office, as worried as she was about you, she knew Rita was absolutely terrified, and she couldn’t blame her. While Rita may not have been privy to exactly how dirty Lewis liked to play, that was still the love of her life being held captive with some psychopath. The one she’d waited so long to find, the one who made her incredibly soft, loving, the complete opposite of the woman she was on the outside. Now as Olivia watched her wipe away a fresh set of tears, hunched over on the couch, she saw a completely different woman. One that was utterly broken, scared, one who probably cared more about you than she did about herself. She was merely a shell of her other powerful, and warm woman that she used to be. Olivia couldn’t let that be the woman that Rita became, she had to get you back, not for herself, but for your true love. She would go to the ends of the earth to make sure that you walked down that damn aisle, even if she had to sacrifice herself to make it happen. It was what you and Rita deserved.

Rita’s head tilted slightly as her phone buzzed, she’d been screening her calls, obviously more involved with finding you, even if all she was doing was sitting in Liv’s office crying over the thought of never seeing you again. This notification piqued her interest, grabbing the phone, practically stumbling to the doorway.

“Liv!” Olivia’s head swiveled back to Rita, brows furrowed as she jogged over to Rita.

“What?”

“They’re in the Hamptons.”

“What? How do you know?” Rita flipped the phone, an image of Lewis practically dragging you in the back door of a beach house. 

“Security notifications come straight to my phone, you need to call the local p.d _now!_ Call them off, if he hears sirens, I’m worried….” She took a shaky breath, “I’m worried what he’ll do.”

Rita quickly rattled off the address as Liv got everyone caught up, her hand already dialing the local police to not engage, that they had this handled and were on their way. Rita knew there was no way this was just an off chance, sure, Lewis liked the idea of the abandoned beach town, no one would be around since the weather had started to chill. But there was no way in hell he randomly picked her Hamptons house. There was some part of you that was still semi conscious enough to get him to agree to going there. She was now more thankful than ever that she’d had the cameras set up last year, she wasn’t even sure if you knew about them, maybe you’d just been trying to get somewhere familiar, somewhere you could pretend what was happening wasn’t as bad as it was.

*

When you came to for the third time that day, you groaned, your entire fucking body ached, littered with little cuts and burns. Somewhere along the way you remembered that you’d read somewhere that the more you fight back, the more likely they were to just give up and let you go without finishing the job.

As it turned out, that was not the case that applied here. 

You’d taken quite the beating once inside the house, you were certain a couple of ribs were broken, and you could feel even more bruising beginning to form underneath your skin. You’d be feeling these injuries for a while, if you made it out of here. Basically the only thing keeping you going at this point was Rita, you had to hold on for her, you couldn’t possibly leave her alone in this horrible version of the world.

You tried to move your body, remembering when you did that he had your wrists individually duct taped to the spires in the headboard. You’d been cautiously wriggling against them since he bound you, thankful that the heat was for some reason turned on in the house, even the slightest bit of sweat could help melt some of the glue on your skin.

“Awe…you’re awake princess.” He sneered as he re-entered the room, “ready for round two?”

“Please…no…” your voice was hoarse, tears budding in the corners of your eyes. The gash on your leg had steadily been leaking for hours, you felt completely exhausted, you weren’t sure how much more fight you had left in you. He chuckled darkly again, you shrieked as he tore what was left of your pants off right before he wrenched at your body, flipping you onto your stomach. The yelp started out from the pain of your shoulders moving in ways they probably shouldn’t, but grew louder at the sudden stabbing in your chest.

“You can scream all you want out here…no one’s gonna hear you.”

You practically sobbed into the pillow, feeling the bed dip with his weight, the clinking of his belt buckle. He traced one of the hunting knives up the inside of your leg, too distracted with playing with his prey that he didn’t notice you wriggling against the duct tape. You realized what was stabbing you in the chest. He’d swiped your ID badge back at the hospital, but your brain thankfully remembered the scalpel he had stashed in your pocket, clearly forgetting about it once he discovered the bigger knives. You knew that the tape on your left wrist was loosened, with enough force, you’d probably be able to get out, even if it meant breaking your wrist in the process. The cold blade of the knife was suddenly at your lower back, pressing in slightly right as it dipped into the waistband of your underwear, a muffled cry escaped your lips.

A car door slammed outside, pulling Lewis’ attention and while it may only be brief, and he may have the larger knife, you had a much better knowledge of human anatomy. Using all of your lasting energy, you ripped your hand from the loose tape (a scream ripping from your lips at the pain), grabbing the scalpel as you did your best to roll over under his weight. One deep swipe to his carotid and you ducked under your free arm, doing the best you could to keep his now dead weight, and gushing blood off your face.

You jumped when you heard a loud crash from the direction of the front door, your heart rate slightly coming back to earth when you heard Olivia’s voice shouting through the house.

“Get the fuck off her!” She didn’t realize he was already dead, a sob escaping your lips bringing her attention back to you as she shoved his body off you. “Honey…it’s okay…it’s okay. I’m gonna need you to put that down, okay?” Your eyes moved to your trembling hand, not even realizing you were still holding a weapon, you dropped it instantly as if it was burning into your skin.

“Rita?” You choked out.

“She’s here, she’s outside sweetheart.” You could hear other members of the squad sweeping the rest of the house as Liv did her best to calm you down. She swiftly used the knife to free you of your other bond, your un-injured hand cradling your broken one. “There’s EMT’s outside, we need to get you checked out.” Your gaze dropped to your body, littered in marks, your scrub top soaked with Lewis’ blood, your shredded pants lay next to the bed.

“Bottom drawer.” You murmured. Olivia suddenly remembered that this was Rita’s house, you were bound to know where things were. 

Swiftly moving through the room she had you in a fresh pair of pyjama pants quickly, taking a moment to hold you to her. Breathing out a sigh of relief that they’d gotten to you before Lewis had hit his limit, and that you’d done a pretty decent job protecting yourself. You did have some of that Benson blood in you after all.

Once you were down the porch steps your eyes were searching for Rita, finding her near the ambulance. She let out a strangled cry at the sight of you, part of it relieved that you were still alive, the other half of her absolutely disintegrating at how much blood you were covered in. She pushed past the barrier of cops as you half jogged toward her, ignoring the pain of your leg. 

The instant you were in her arms you broke, buried against her coat while the sobs heaved through your body, the pain in your ribs making you cry even harder. You’d done your best to stay strong for far too long, you’d put it all into fighting back, into saving as much of your dignity that you could. Now, wrapped in Rita’s embrace you were finally able to let it all come crashing out. You could feel her own tears dropping against your skin, her body shaking with breaths as she held you.

“Lewis?” She asked over the top of your head to Liv.

“Dead.”

“I didn’t hear a shot.”

“She slit his throat.” Liv gestured toward you, Rita pulled the slightest bit away, glancing down at your face.

“Am..am I in trouble?” You asked through your cries.

“No honey, absolutely not.” Even with Olivia’s response, Rita’s grip on you tightened as the other woman stepped forward, as if she was going to attempt to cuff you then and there. You winced at the pain, a grunt coming from your throat.

“Come on darling, they need to look at you.” She softly kissed the top of your head, her voice quiet enough for only you to hear, a prominent shake it in as she directed you towards the ambulance. “Did he rape you?” You took a shaky breath, your words nearly lost against her body.

“Just…just his hand..” you shuddered, thankful you’d been so out of it by that point from blood loss and a very likely concussion that you barely acknowledged or remembered it. Rita’s grip tightened around you again, she was happy he hadn’t managed to complete his task but god only knew if you hadn’t killed him she would be walking right back into that house and doing it herself.

She guided you to the paramedics as Liv came jogging back out with a tshirt from the house, letting you rid yourself of the blood soaked one. It relieved Rita to see that so much of the blood wasn’t yours, but her eyes dragged over the other small marks littering your body. There was no way in hell she was leaving your side for a very long time.

An I.V was promptly hooked up to give you some pain killers and fluids while the paramedic started asking you a few questions, you were half in an out at this point, exhaustion wearing on you more than you could’ve imagined. You knew you mentioned your leg, that it needed to be stitched, and you were aware of Rita’s hand curled in yours, the other softly brushing hair from your face. You knew you were finally safe, that your love was back by your side, your subconscious finally encouraging you to rest for a bit.


	10. Chapter 10

A hand closed around your arm, your brain brought the image of Lewis pinning you down shooting to its front, you awoke with a yelp, jerked away from the nurses touch, a second whimper as your body shook, the pain of your injuries suddenly very apparent. 

Rita jolted awake from her chair beside your bed, the NYPD windbreaker slipping to the floor as she nearly stumbled to your bedside, still half asleep herself. She cautiously and ever so softly stroked your hair off your face, murmuring to you as your body unclenched from around itself.

“You’re okay darling. It’s okay. It’s over, he can’t hurt you anymore.”

You sat up slightly, keeping the covers tight around you, your chest heaving, tears slipping down your cheeks. Your heart rate continued to skyrocket, the beeping from the machine seemed to get louder with each pulse, egging you on even further. The nurse mentioned something about getting you some Ativan and slipped from the room.

Rita’s arm looped over your shoulders, settling onto the bed while you curled into her chest, her other one holding you there, soothingly stroking at your hair. As much as she thought she’d gotten all of her emotions out over the past twenty four hours, she felt the tears building up in her eyes again. Seeing you like this made her heart burst, the physical pain was more than enough, but knowing you’d likely be dealing with the psychological effects of this for the rest of your life was something she couldn’t bear to think about.

Thankfully the meds helped nearly immediately calm you down, your heart finally began to feel like it wasn’t about to burst out of your chest and the tears slowed. Rita’s hand gently wiped away at the remaining streaks of tears on your cheeks, kissing your head with immense care.

“Thank you.” You half whispered, your voice still hoarse.

“I’ll always be here.” She whispered back, stroking at your hair she waited a moment before she spoke again. “How’s your pain?”

“‘Bout a four? Wrist hurts the most.” You sniffled, snuggling against her.

“For what it’s worth they said your ribs are just cracked, shouldn’t take too long to heal. They had to set your wrist, they’ll put a cast on in a few days.”

“Rita?” You half cut her off,

“Yes darling?”

“You remember I’m a nurse right?” You poked at her arm as she let out a huff of a laugh, “can you hand me my chart?”

She pecked your cheek softly before she shifting, moving to grab the clipboard from the foot of the bed, settling back in beside you as you flipped it open with your good hand. Your lips pursed as you read through it, most of it wasn’t a surprise, a lot of superficial wounds, a couple of second degree burns that with the right care wouldn’t leave a scar, though the gash on your leg would. Cracked ribs that Rita had mentioned along with the wrist, and a moderate concussion. Honestly, you were thankful for the last one, he’d knocked you out enough times with enough force your short term memory was a blur, your head still throbbed though. Handing the chart back to Rita you curled into her warmth while she tossed it to the table, wrapping you in her arms, you were still exhausted, your brain already going foggy again.

“If I’m out when they come back can you get them to switch the morphine to tramadol? It’s giving me hallucinations and I really don’t want to see his face again.”

“Of course.” She kissed the top of your head again, realizing now why you’d awoken with such a start. “Did you want to talk about it?”

“Not yet.” You half sniffled, “I don’t want you to see me different, to…look at me like I’m only a victim…”

“Oh sweetheart…” Rita couldn’t help but kiss your head again, she waited for you to continue but then realized you were out cold again. 

Obviously what you had gone through was going to affect you, it was going to change you, and while she might alter some of the behaviour around you, she certainly wasn’t ever going to feel any different about you. You had been a victim, like so many other people in the world, hell, half her job was looking at victims and not seeing that side of them, putting up a wall to make them no different from anyone else in the room. She also knew that you may never want to open up to her about what happened, that maybe you’d want to spare her the details or something. No matter what happened, she knew she would continue to love you, and would do whatever she could to help you get through this.

*

Olivia rounded the corner into your room and couldn’t help but smile at the view. Despite a few bruises littering your upper body, you were curled into Rita, a soft smile on your lips as you slept. The older woman’s arms looped around you, hand interlocked with your un injured one as she dozed softly. Liv laid the tray of drinks down on the table, picking up the previously discarded jacket, placing it in a chair as she settled into the other one. 

The soft noise rose you out of your light sleep, you always felt like you were half awake when you slept on high level pain meds. You shifted slightly, doing your best not to wake Rita as you greeted Olivia with a small smile.

“Hey.” She greeted quietly.

“You bring me coffee?” You mumbled.

“Tea for you.” She nearly laughed, passing you the cup. Rita stirred slightly as you sat up, stretching from being cramped in a small bed.

“Someone say coffee?”

“Ah!” You swatted at her hand as she sat up reaching for the cup, “when was the last time you ate?”

“Recently enough.” She replied, hand swiping the cup from the table. You sighed and turned to Olivia.

“When was the last time she ate?”

“Not since she walked into my office.” Rita scowled across at the other woman for calling her out as Olivia laughed.

“Go to the cafeteria and get something to eat.” You nudged her to the edge of the bed.

“Someone’s a lot perkier than the last time they were up.” She grumbled and you couldn’t help but smirk, she was always a little grumpy before coffee.

“I’m not as high as I was last time. The tramadol’s not as intense. Now go.”

“Fine.” She shifted out of the bed, slipping her shoes on, swatting at Olivia’s shoulder as the other woman chuckled.

“Hey!” You cut in, “you don’t get off scot free either, you’ve both turned up in my E.R for the same reason.”

“I _just_ had a bagel.”

“Good.” You smiled softly as Rita ducked to kiss you, murmuring a quiet ‘ _I love you’_ that you returned before she left the room. There was no way in hell she was ever going to walk away from you without reminding you of that fact, even if it was only for a brief time. The past twenty four hours had reminded her that love was precious and time was limited, you never knew when it could be taken away from you.

Shifting in the bed, you pulled your legs up crossed under you, wincing at the pain in your ribs as you faced Olivia.

“You okay?” 

“It’s not that bad.” You half lied, hitting the button to administer another dose of pain meds. Distracting yourself by fiddling with the tea bag string you avoided Olivia’s gaze as you spoke again, “who…was he?” Olivia sighed, 

“William Lewis…he was a perp that we just couldn’t stick a crime to. Until he showed up at my apartment.”

“So the kidnapping a cop rumour wasn’t just a rumour.”

“No.” She sighed again. She hated talking about it, even with her therapist, she was supposed to keep the city safe from people like Lewis, instead she’d fallen into his trap.

“He talked about you a lot.” You glanced up from your tea, “you were some kind of weird obsession he had.”

“I..had a bit of a vendetta out for him after we couldn’t arrest him, guess he took that personally.” She shrugged.

“Can..I ask you something that might be too personal?”

“Of course.” She knew what was coming.

“Did...he rape you?”

“No.” She firmly stated and you let out a breath of relief, “I only hope we got to you in time?”

“He…couldn’t get it up..” you wiped away an escaped tear, “he used..his hand..”

“Oh sweetheart..” Olivia had conversations like this all the time, but for the obvious reasons, this one was definitely hitting her a lot harder.

“The second time…I..I could feel that he was ready…right before you got there.”

“Honey I am _so sorry_.” She moved to perch on the side of the bed, wrapping an arm around you, urging you to lean onto her shoulder. “I wish we’d gotten there sooner.”

“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t’ve been gossiping in a patient’s room. Then he never would’ve known we were related.”

“Lewis was a sick bastard, it had always been his plan to escape that day. You and Sophie would’ve been collateral damage either way.”

“Oh God! Sophie!” You jolted upright, groaning at the pain in your side, “is she alive?” Tears littered your eyes again at the thought.

“Yes.” Olivia gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, “he did rape her..beat her up pretty bad, but she’ll be okay. She’s at home with Carisi.”

“Oh thank God.” You sighed in relief, at least you could get through this together, you wouldn’t have to do it alone and mourn your best friend at the same time.

“Sweetheart..did you tell Rita? About…” she tilted her head in a gesture instead of saying the actual words, “it’s important for partners to know. That way they don’t cross any lines too quickly when it comes to the physical aspect.”

“I did.” You nodded, “besides, she’s always super gentle with me unless I ask her not to be.” You cringed suddenly, risking a glance over at her, “sorry, you didn’t need to know that.”

“It’s okay.” Olivia laughed lightly, “I’m just happy you have somebody to help you recover from all of this, especially someone who cares about you as much as Rita does.”

“Sometimes I think I was blessed by the luck gods. I’m still not sure how I convinced her into dating me.”

“Oh there was no convincing needed darling.” Her voice cut in from the doorway, a small smile on her face. Olivia rose from the bed as Rita moved back into the room.

“I should get going. I just wanted to check in, make sure you were okay before I relieved Lucy.”

“Oh God! Noah!” You suddenly clued in that Olivia probably hadn’t been home in nearly two days, “go! I’ll be fine. You’ve got a kid to take care of.”

“Last time I checked you were my kid too.” She smirked, pulling on her coat, “but you’re grown, and in very good hands.” The three of you made your quiet goodbyes, it was only when she hit the door that you called out, causing her to turn back.

“Liv!”

“Yeah?”

“Can…you call Carisi for me? Get him to make sure Soph knows I’m okay, and that I want to see her once she’s ready?” Olivia stalled, realizing something as she dug through her purse.

“I’ll do you one better.” She smiled, pulling your retrieved phone out along with a spare charger.

“Oh thank God!” You accepted the device from her, swiftly plugging it it. The screen was cracked, and it was covered in dirt, but you felt a sense of calming having your phone back.

“We could’ve gotten you a new one darling.” Rita cooed, kissing your head.

“I know…but my photos aren’t backed up.” You turned back, “thank you Oliva.”

“No problem. Get some rest.”

With one last wave over her shoulder she left the two of you in peace. While she wished she could stay longer, she knew that you were okay, and that you would’ve insisted her to go home to Noah anyway. Rita was there, and she knew that woman wasn’t about to let you out of her sight anytime soon. She’d already dumped any open cases on her associates and put in for a brief leave from the firm.

They kept you in the hospital one more night for monitoring before setting your wrist in a cast and discharging you with an onslaught of aftercare pamphlets and treatments. Rita insisted on reading through them despite your plethora of knowledge on how to take care of yourself, knowing which ointments were for the burns, and which ones were for the cuts. 

You slept a lot once you got home, you knew your body needed it, and you were glad for the sleeping pills they’d prescribed you, keeping your nights and naps dreamless. Rita often found herself just watching you as you slept, thankful for the way the bruises were fading on your skin over the week. Slowly but surely, her little angel would come back to her full form, she had faith in that.


	11. Chapter 11

After a week of readjusting to being back in the apartment, being slightly back to real life, you felt like things might just go back to normal easier than you’d expected. Olivia had set up a meeting with Huang for you, and thanks to your previous work relationship, you easily welcomed him into your home. Rita kissed your cheek, giving you the privacy of the apartment, using the time to run a few errands while you talked things over.

You knew your career relied on you getting back to work in a respectable timely manner, and you knew how these things went, not holding anything back as Huang led you through a line of questioning, letting you get it all out. It was emotional and raw as all hell, you still wished you’d never have to share these memories with anyone, but you knew it was for the better. Huang was soft and gentle, offering you support and whatever else you may have needed while you traced through the events of the day, much like you’d watched him with patients before. By the end of it, he had a specific therapist selected for you to see every couple of weeks, and deemed that once you were physically cleared, you were able to return to work (that Rita very heavily reminded you was to be at Mercy, you countered saying you weren’t planning on going near a prison ward ever again).

You were incredibly thankful for the fact that she had taken time off work while you healed, though you assured her it wasn’t needed. In return, she assured you that it was, that you deserved to be taken care of, especially in times like this. She regularly had your meds waiting for you in the morning, more than willing to help you apply whatever ointments to wounds in hopes that they wouldn’t scar. There was a part of you that was horribly ashamed to even let her see your body anymore, not that it was bad, but the burns and cuts littered more of your skin than you’d wished. She always assured you that she loved you, without words, each time she helped you reach the ones you couldn’t get to, her lips softly meeting your skin, the way she’d gently hold you to her. The first night you’d been home from the hospital you practically refused to undress in front of her, she cupped your cheeks feather light and reminded you that she would love you no matter what, it didn’t matter if you were scarred physically, emotionally, whatever happened in that twenty four hours didn’t matter to her, she loved you more than anything in the entire world and she always would. She didn’t care how long it took you to be comfortable with being intimate, all she cared about was that you were not only alive, but hers. And you loved her even more for it.

The time together was mainly spent sleeping, buried in each other’s arms on the couch, trying every possible takeout joint you could find. You got through more than enough of your backlogged t.v and movie marathons. Rita relished in having the break from work, which she didn’t expect, not one moment of being home with you did she miss the fire of the courtroom, the drama of defending someone who she knew was guilty. It was a new level of love for your relationship as she watched you heal, ever happy to help as much as she could while still letting your be independent.

A couple of weeks after you’d been home and finally were settled into things, you’d arranged for Sophie to come over. You were incredibly excited to see her and to try and work through what you both went through, whether that meant drinking some wine and not talking about it, or ugly crying over it you weren’t quite sure yet. Rita had suggested lunch, half catered, half made by her while you rested, knowing that there was no doubt Sonny would be tagging along. At this point she still hating letting you out of her sight while you used the bathroom and she figured he was the same. If he wasn’t invited there was no doubt in her mind he’d either be pacing the hallway or making best friends with the doorman while he waited outside, his badge and gun on full display.

You were fresh out of the shower, wrapped in leggings and one of Rita’s old Harvard sweatshirts, your hair still damp as you wrapped around her. Nuzzling against her neck while she finished at the stove, you kissed at her neck.

“Smells delicious.” Your lips met her skin again, “you been holdin’ out on me all these years?” She laughed, turning in your arms, pecking you gently.

“Turns out when I actually have time on my hands I remember how much Iike cooking.”

“Mm..” you kissed her lips, “remind me to make you take more days off.” You teased, pulling a laugh from her.

“We’ll have to see about that.” She smiled, kissing the tip of your nose. She turned you in her arms so she could continue cooking while she wrapped around your body, “how’re you feeling?”

“Good.” You gave her wrist a squeeze, “shouldn’t be long before the ribs are healed. I’m already down on the pain meds. And..it’s been a few nights since any nightmares.”

“Good.” She pecked your cheek, unable to avoid the smile as you coerced her into a deeper kiss. You cupped at the back of her head, the curve of her lips evident against yours as you giggled into the kiss. You let out a sigh of annoyance as a knock at the door interrupted your make out session. Sure, you were excited to see Sophie finally, but you also were beginning to crave more intimate moments with your fiancée. You pecked her lips quickly, stroking her cheek before moving from the stove to the door, pulling it open.

“Hey!” You greeted brightly, letting the two of them into your apartment.

“Hey doll.” Sonny pulled you into a tight hug, ever thankful that you were okay, and honestly, that you had killed the bastard that had hurt his girl. You vocally winced at the tightness of his arms and Rita was quick to cut in from the kitchen in your defence.

“Watch her ribs!” Sonny’s arms immediately dropped from you, a shamed and apologetic look on his face.

“Shit, sorry.”

“S’okay.” You replied. Your attention was much more warranted by your best friend right now, who launched into your arms, careful to wrap them more around your neck than your injured torso.

“Hi.” She murmured against you.

“Hi.” You replied, burying yourself into her for a long moment before pulling back, a crystal of tears in your eyes, “you okay?”

“I will be.” She gave you a warm smile that you returned.

“Me too.” You pecked her cheek gently, “come in!”

“Thanks for havin’ us Counsellor.” Carisi greeted, pulling a laugh from the other three of you.

“You’re not at work!” You swatted his arm.

“Uh, sorry…Ms Calhoun.” Rita laughed at that, turning to the entry way with a smile on her face,

“You’re in my apartment, you can call me Rita.”

“Sorry, it’s just…”

“Weird I know.” She countered, “now c’mon, I hear you’re a whiz in the kitchen, help me finish this up.” Sonny kissed Sophie on the cheek softly before ducking into the kitchen, giving the two of you a moment together, 

“I never realized your place was so nice.” She started.

“Yeah well..the bonus of defence money.” You half teased, “you wanna see the view?”

“Uh..of course!” She shot back and you headed out onto the terrace. 

It was larger than the lower floors, patio furniture and a handful of plants decorated the space, fairy lights trailed along the railing (your insistence) that got turned on when you and Rita would spend the evening out there. You and Sophie settled into the comfy chairs, the view of the city spread out in front of you as you started to talk things over. 

You both relayed apologies to each other over what had happened to the other person. Sophie was adamant that what happened to her wasn’t your fault. She’d talked to Amanda a couple of times, who was the original person to arrest Lewis, and she knew that as soon as she was anywhere near his hospital room that she was at risk. Sonny and Rita very apologetically briefly interrupted your talk as they dropped off lunch and hefty glasses of wine, leaving you to talk in privacy. It didn’t take long for the two of you to end up half crying in each other’s arms. You’d both gone through hell at the hands of the same man, and honestly, it helped a hell of a lot to talk to someone about everything that wasn’t your therapists. As much as your respective partners knew, both of you felt somewhat awkward telling them the details, and being able to truly open up to someone who you not only loved, but who had experienced the horrors you had…it helped. Plus, you hadn’t seen each other in weeks and nothing could make you as giddy as your best friend, no matter the circumstances.

Sonny and Rita sat at the kitchen island, food and wine infront of them much like yourselves, their gazes normally trained on you as they exchanged mild awkward small talk.

“I know…it sounds horrible to say, but I’m glad they have each other ta’ help through this.” Sonny broke the silence, Rita glanced up at him.

“Me too.” She sighed over a sip of wine, “I get that she doesn’t want to talk to me about it. I would never be able to understand what she went through, and I know she doesn’t want me thinking less of her. I just hate seeing her this hurt, I mean, the scars are one thing, but the emotional trauma is a whole different level.” She never expected herself to open up to someone like Sonny, a cop, an SVU cop, if anyone maybe Oliva, but his experience was so close to hers that it hurt.

“She’ll be okay.” Carisi’s voice was suddenly softer, his hand squeezing at her wrist, “things will go back to normal soon, Huang has them both seeing great therapists.”

“It’s more than that.” She busied herself with a scoop of food, “I’m worried I won’t be enough for her anymore.”

“Rita..” he shocked both of them by the use of her first name, “I’ve never met someone who was more in love than Y/N. Even before I knew it was you, when it was just Soph’s best friend, I knew there was no chance they weren’t endgame.”

“Can I ask you something…personal?” She quirked a brow, gulping back a sip of wine.

“Sure.”

“You don’t have to answer and I know it hasn’t been that long but…I’m still so unsure how to approach it.” She took a shaky sigh, “have….you breached the topic of intimacy?” Rita winced, gulping back more wine.

“I-uh…” Carisi flushed, “I’ve left that up to Soph….whenever she’s ready, and whatever she’s ready for, she’s in charge. I…I thought Lewis’ didn’t…”

“His hand still did….” Rita admitted, the relief practically floating of her shoulders as the admission.

“I had no idea, I’m so sorry.”

“Me too.” She half sniffled, “I just want her to be safe, for her to feel safe, to protect her….”

“Hey..you did everythin’ ya could. Trust me, the way y/n talks about you, there’s nothing more in the world she loves more than you.”

“Thanks Carisi.” She half teased, topping up their wine glasses.

“Can I ask ya somethin’?” Sonny glanced her way, knowing she’d had her chance, now it was his.

“Course.”

“Did…you know she was Benson’s daughter when you two got together?” Rita let out a hearty laugh at that, echoing through the room.

“No!” She replied with a smile on her face, “I just knew she was a cute nurse. I didn’t find out for two years. It’s not like I went out with the plan to get with Liv’s kid.”

“I was just curious.” He did his best to hide his flushed cheeks. The sudden knock on the door pulled the attention from their conversation.

“You mind grabbing that?” Rita asked as she fetched new bottle of wine, knowing you and Sophie would need top ups, “it’s probably Liv, only so many people can get past the doorman.”

It was swiftly she moved through the house onto the balcony, refilling your glasses of wine, accepting the soft kiss you pulled her in to before she moved back into the apartment. She was slightly surprised to see Rafael toeing off his shoes in the entry way.

“You really let him into your apartment?” He teased, gesturing towards Carisi.

“Oh be nice.” She retorted, “you know my fiancee’s best friend’s with his girl.” Carisi nearly felt his heart swell at he statement, “why’re you here?”

“I figured I should come check on my friend.” He hugged her softly, pecking at her cheek, “you doin’ okay?”

“We’re getting by.” Rita smiled, “you want a glass?” She asked, gesturing to the bottle in her hand. Rafael enthusiastically agreed, and the three in the kitchen soon fell into an easy rhythm of conversation. It didn’t take long for Rafael’s company to bring up Sonny about the take the bar, and before he knew it, the two lawyers were spewing information at him nearly faster than he could take it.

The sound of the patio door sliding open pulled the three of them from their trance as you and Sophie made your way back into the apartment.

“Barba?” Your brow quirked, “I didn’t realize dinner was a free for all.” You teased.

“You’ve trained her well I see.” He quipped back as you moved into Rita’s arms.

“I have to side with her,” you replied, “she is my wife.” Rita’s heart swelled at the use of the word, the first time you’d ever said it and she felt like she might just explode.

“Future wife darling.” She corrected, laughing at your heavy sigh, kissing at your forehead.

“I shouldn’t have to wait for some silly piece of paper if I want to call you my wife. I’ve already got the ring.” You smiled, kissing her softly. “Can Soph and Son stay for dinner? Maybe get some pizza or something?” 

“Of course my love.” Rita kissed your nose softly, her attention returning to Carisi, “you’re the foodie, order whatever you want for all of us.”

“You sure Counsellor?” She laughed at his response.

“I’ve already told you yes, and what I don’t want to pay for Rafael can cover.” She teased, laughing at the way he scowled at her words. 

Though it didn’t matter how much it cost him, he was impeccably happy to see his friend happy. And with you snuggled up against her, the smile and laugh evident on your cheeks, there was no way Rita was unhappy. She loved you more than anyone could imagine, even herself.

That night wasn’t one that any of you expected, the five of you delving into pizza and trashy t.v. Despite knowing Rafael was one of Rita’s closest friends, it was still hilarious to see him indulging in Real Housewives and too many glasses of wine. You couldn’t help but laugh as you snuggled against Rita,your smile nearly hurting your cheeks as she caressed your arm. Everytime you gaze met Sophie’s you knew she was feeling the exact same, you may have both been through a hell of a lot, but you had the greatest support systems you could ever imagine helping you through it.

Eventually the night came to a close, the painkillers you took with dinner pulling a large yawn from you. Rita was incredibly quick to usher the company from the apartment. You sleepily hugged Sophie, telling her to text you before curling against Rita as she bid goodbye to the rest of your guests. Once the door was shut she kissed you with incredible softness, telling you to go get ready for bed as she cleaned up. You pouted, but obeyed, changing and brushing your teeth before crawling into bed, awaiting your love. 

Once she slipped under the blankets in the darkness with you you were magnetized to her form, your very sleepy self curling around her body, nuzzling against her neck. Rita kissed your head softly,her free arm stroking down your back.

“I love you” you murmured, kissing her shoulder, “more than you could imagine.”

“Mmm” she sighed, kissing your head softly, “but I can darling. Because I love you just as much.” Her lips hit your head once more before you were asleep, and it wasn’t long before she was out, knowing that you were happy, safe and loved.


	12. Chapter 12

By the end of the next month, your ribs were healed, the X-ray clearing another step in your returning to work, your regular therapy sessions helping your mental health beyond belief. Your wrist was finally out of its cast, though you still had to rest and ice it regularly, PT exercises helping while it stayed wrapped in a brace or tensor bandage regularly. Sophie had since returned to work and you got a slew of texts everyday about how much she missed having you around and couldn’t wait until you were back. You were thankful that most of the Mercy staff either didn’t know what had happened to the two of you, or were more than willing to ignore it unless you brought it up. You’d stopped in to have lunch with Soph a few times, your coworkers more than excited about having the two of you back on the floor soon.

Olivia stopped by more than a few times, usually coaxing you out of the apartment, even if it was for a short walk to the coffee shop around the corner. You always trusted her in the steps of your recovery, after all, she’d been through practically the exact same thing herself. As much as Rita didn’t want to let you out of her sight quite yet, she knew you were more than well protected with Olivia at your side, and it was still important the two of you have your private bonding time. The little meetings with Liv honestly helped you get even closer than you had been before, you disclosed things you couldn’t with Rita or Sophie (with a lot of confidence on Sophie’s behalf, you didn’t want things getting back to Sonny if she hadn’t mentioned it to him yet, but you knew you could trust Olivia to not bring it up or act weird). You were incredibly thankful for the relationship continuing to flourish, you appreciated having Olivia in your life in whatever somewhat weird role she filled.

As much as you still had a few weeks before you were scheduled to return to work (on somewhat modified duty, no transfer/lifting of patients with your wrist would be allowed), Rita was at the end of the time she’d requested. She knew she’d have to go back to work, that as much as she wanted, she couldn’t stay by your side, tangled in your arms forever. It was a bit of a slow start, her clients having been covered by other people at her firm while she was away, she took over a couple of cases that were only a few steps in, but one landed in a deal and the other was a misdemeanour that wouldn’t go to court for months. 

Her first morning back, she was surprised when you were awake and out of bed before her alarm even went off. Her heart absolutely melted when she found you in the kitchen, her favourite breakfast nearly done cooking in front of you. You’d simply assured her that she deserved the best, and needed a full stomach to have a good first day back, kissing her softly. She honestly didn’t know what she would do without you, and each day that went by since meeting you, she was ever blown away. Half of her hadn’t even been sure that a love like this actually existed, but you, you were something else, that was for sure.

The first official case she took ended up being more than she’d expected, spending half the day at the precinct followed by the other at her office while she dug through everything she could about her client. She eventually packed it all up, not wanting to be away from you any longer, knowing if she really wanted or needed to, she could at least work from home later on. 

You were napping on the couch when she got home, and she couldn’t help but smile at the view, the fact that you’d fallen asleep watching Phineas and Ferb pulling a chuckle from her. She noted the lack of dishes on the coffee table and in the sink, assuming you hadn’t eaten much all day, ordering some of your favourites before she woke you up when it arrived. You were a little groggy, but were more than happy, a bright smile on your cheeks as you sat up to properly greet her with a kiss. You held her to you tighter and longer than usual, relishing in the feel of her against your body, reminding her just how much you loved her. You were ever thankful for dinner, briefly asking her about work while you chewed over the food. 

Post dinner she joined you on the couch, work could wait, she was much more excited about having you in her arms after the long day. She didn’t even realize just how much she relied on having you to hold, it never mattered if you cuddled back, she just loved to hold you, the warmth of you in her arms warming her heart like no tomorrow. Though you always nestled against her, a hand rubbing at her arm, softly reaching back to play with her hair, she knew you loved the touch as much as she did.

You woke up to a chilled bedroom, tugging the sheets tighter around you, you shivered, the cold aching your wrist. You tried to ignore the pain, snuggling up to Rita, but she was further away than you’d thought. Upon rolling over you realized she wasn’t in the bed, huffing at the sight of a sliver of light coming from the living room. You glanced at the clock, at least it wasn’t that late, and at this point, you needed to get up for more painkillers anyways. Shivering you wrapped a tossed aside cardigan around your frame, padding out into the main area of the apartment. Much to your surprise, Rita was standing in the living room, glass of scotch in her hand while she stared out at the cityscape in front of her. 

“You’re up and not working?” You mumured, half teasing as you wrapped yourself around her body, humming at the way her free arm wrapped tightly around your waist.

“Why’re you up?” She asked quietly.

“Bed was cold.” You replied, kissing her shoulder, “and I needed more tylenol.”

“Sorry Darling.” She kissed your forehead before sucking back some more of her drink.

“You gonna tell me why you’re up now?” Your head tilted so you could see her face, the way her brows furrowed as she frowned.

“It’s this case…”

“Baby you know how much of a rockstar you are, you’ll crush it.” You kissed softly at the side of her neck, “come back to bed.” You snuggled deeper against her. Rita sighed, placing the now empty glass down on the coffee table as she gently tugged you to the couch.

“I’m not worried about being able to win it,” she admitted, her hand stroking absentmindedly at your hair, “I’m worried about the morality of it.”

“What’d’you mean?” You tucked your legs up under you, fully facing her, your hand softly playing with the baby hairs against her neck. She sighed heavily, taking a deep breath as she looked up at you.

“The idiot’s being accused of abducting and raping his ex girlfriend, and the evidence isn’t helping.” She sighed again, “I just….I can’t help but think of that poor girl going through exactly what you did, and it’s making me wonder if this work is what I should really be doing.”

“Rita…my love…” you stroked her cheek softly as you shifted, straddling her lap, “you’re doing your job.” You kissed her forehead softly, “though I get why maybe you want to change paths right now. If you think the guy’s guilty, drop the case, make a deal. But don’t ever forget that you’re one of the best defence attorneys New York has to offer.”

“You don’t think less of me for representing scum like that?” You knew she was serious when she glanced up at you with a small shimmer of tears in her eyes.

“No love, never….” You kissed her softly, “I’ll admit, we had our complications early on, but baby, I love you. And that’s all that ever matters. I don’t care what you do at work, as long as you come home to me and still love me, that’s all that I care about.”

“Well that’s never going to stop.” She smiled, kissing your lips with ease.

“Good.” You pecked her lips, cupping her cheeks softly, “now will you come back to bed? I miss you.”

“Darling I’ve only been working a couple of days.”

“That’s not what I miss..” you met her gaze as your thumb stroked at her cheek.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” You ducked to kiss her, lips moving with grace against hers as your tongue delved into her mouth. The hands previously cupping her cheeks wrapped around her neck, pulling her to you.

“Darling…” she nearly warned as you kissed down her neck, “are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yes..” you pulled your head up, meeting her gaze, “I love you, but more importantly I _trust_ you. And this time, I know you’ll be incredibly soft, you wont cross a line. But baby _please._ I need to feel _you_ , I need to feel a touch that’s loving and caring, I can’t handle the last one I felt being…him…”

“Oh darling..” Rita stroked your cheek, hating the way your eyes were blurring with tears. She held you against her for a few moments until she was sure you were okay. Then she let you take the lead, you were okay, you were more than okay, and this was what you wanted, she was still careful to be slow, be cautious, never crossing a line. But Rita knew you, she knew your relationship, she let you take control and as much as she thought things might be weird, you slipped past all of your trauma and shared all the love with her.

When you collapsed against the now very warm bedsheets, it was in a slight sheen of sweat, reminded just how incredible Rita was at making you feel wonderful. You smiled as you rolled toward her, snuggling against her body, peppering her in kisses. She pulled your face to hers, lips gracing you with a passion filled kiss before you nestled against her chest, arms wrapping around each other. You relished in the warmth and love surrounding you for a moment before you spoke.

“I think we should set a date…and somtime soon.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t wanna wait any longer, I just want to be your wife.”

“I thought you didn’t need some silly little piece of paper.” Rita teased. You rolled your eyes, propping your head up.

“I’m serious.”

“We still have a lot of planning to do darling.”

“Screw the details, screw the big ceremony. We can do something small, family, Sophie and Barba, then dinner at the café like we planned.”

“Are you sure?” She stroked back a piece of your hair, cupping your cheek. You turned, leaving a kiss in the palm of her hand.

“Yes. All I need is you.” Leaning down you kissed her, smile breaking onto your lips.

“I’ll make some calls in the morning.” She murmured, earning a giggle of excitement from you, quickly kissing her again before you nuzzled back against her.

“I love you.” You placed another kiss on her skin.

“I love you too darling.”


	13. Chapter 13

It took a few weeks to get everything together and organized, all things considered it was honestly a surprise to the both of you that you got it done in such little time. You had been struggling to figure out a ceremony, you’d agreed on not needing or wanting a big one, or one in a church, but wanted something more than just going down to City Hall. It was while talking to the coordinator at River Café that they brought up the fact that they regularly hosted ceremonies on the terrace, and had the capacity for it. You were sold instantly, the convenience of having both parts of the day be at the same place made it easier for everyone, and it was just what you wanted, something quiet and intimate, in a place that meant something to the both of you. You didn’t know how you didn’t think of it earlier. 

You were a little apprehensive when it came to telling Sophie about the last minute changes to everything, but she admitted she was completely happy that her maid of honour duties were basically diminished. She was just thankful she wasn’t going to have to stand up for the ceremony and would be able to ugly cry in peace from a chair. (Her words). She did agree to coming to the apartment to help you and Rita get ready though, and the crying started almost immediately when Rita gifted her a pair of royal blue Manolo’s that matched the pairs the two of you would be wearing that day. (Rafael had the matching pocket square and tie).

With all the last minute changes, you’d basically gone and thrown tradition out the window, today was simply a celebration of your love. The ceremony was perfect, just your parents, Olivia, Sophie, Sonny and Rafael in attendance. A weird little jamble of what your forever family was. You ended up walking in with Rita by your side, the vows were short, but personal, uttered from the heart instead of pre written. Your cheeks hurt with how wide you were smiling, unable to stop due to the complete and utter love pouring from Rita’s eyes into yours. You’d known this day was coming basically from your first date, but you still couldn’t believe it was really happening, that Rita had chosen you to spend forever with, you were eternally grateful. 

In return, Rita could barely handle the fact that you’d said yes, that you _wanted_ to spend the rest of your lives together. She’d never felt a love like this, you loved her so passionately, so deeply that she could barely handle it some days. It was part of why she always wanted to take such good care of you, why she doted on you the way she did. Not a day went by that she didn’t want you to know just how much she loved you, and just how much she appreciated your love. It took everything in her power to hold back from kissing you before you were finished your vows, when she was finally allowed she cupped your cheek with such softness you truly did melt. Your lips meeting in a tender kiss, smiles evident as you shared your first kiss with your _wife._ And let’s be serious, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house, the love between the two of you so powerful everyone could feel it.

As the café began to fill with friends and family you found yourselves briefly separated as you greeted everyone, glad to at least have champagne in hand as you toasted to your marriage. You were now more than ever thankful you’d gone with a non traditional knee length dress, the temperature already climbing indoors. (And lets be real, those Manolo’s had to be on display). You joined Sophie up at the bar, your gaze directed over to your wife, she was absolutely stunning, having gone with a fitted yet classy long sleeved dress that showed off just enough skin while still being respectful, very on brand. She caught you staring, shooting you a wink while she continued her conversation.

“God you two are so in love it pains me sometimes.” Sophie teased.

“Oh stop.” You swatted at her arm, thanking the bartender as he topped up your glass. “Besides, you’ll get your day soon, I know it.” You linked your arm through hers, kissing her cheek.

“Thanks.” She blushed. You frowned slightly as the bartender passed her her glass back.

“I thought you were off those anti-anxiety meds.” You commented, remembering the pills she’d been taking for a few weeks after the attack, they were ones you definitely didn’t mix with alcohol.

“I am.” She replied, taking a small sip.

“Then why are you drinking ginger ale?”

“It’s not ginger ale.” She shot back.

“Really?” You easily swiped the glass from her, confirming your suspicion with a sip. “You know I wouldn’t think less of you or anything if you went back on the meds, right?”

“It’s not the meds.” She flushed, retrieving the flute from you.

“Wait…” you glanced quickly between her and Sonny, the dopey grin on his face _was_ more enthuastic than usual, “are you..?” She nodded sheepishly and you shrieked, launching into her arms, “oh my god! Sophie!! Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“We…didn’t want to steal your day.”

“Well we did kinda spring it on you.” You laughed, your hands trailing down her arms, cupping her hands in yours, “I’m so happy for you guys.” Your hand linked around her right, holding it up to her eyeline, “is this supposed to be on the other hand?” You quirked a brow at the sight of a new looking diamond.

“Yeah…” she winced, “his family’s super Catholic…we figured we should put a ring on it before we tell them about the baby. Not that it’s only cause of the baby or anything!”

“Soph…” you smiled warmly at her, “the only people I know who are endgame as much as Rita and I are the two of you.” You kissed her cheek, “switch the ring over. Celebrate your love, that’s what today’s for after all, love.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Congratulations. I’m so excited for you.”

“Congratulations yourself. You and Rita both make beautiful brides.”

“Thank you.” It was with another shriek of a giggle that you launched into another hug, just so overwhelmed with joy from the day already, but this news from your best friend was truly sending you to the moon.

You returned to Rita’s side after that, eager to spend time in your wife’s arms, peppering each other with kisses at every chance you got. It wasn’t long after that you settled in for dinner, plates of poached Maine lobster, rack of lamb, and ratatouille served graciously to your guests. You and Rita were settled beside each other at a table with the guests of the ceremony, Sophie on your other side. Keeping things on the untraditional path, there was no ‘head table’ per say, and you’d insisted on no speeches, just groups of friends coming together to celebrate a happy day full of love and passion. Dessert entailed a classic crème brûlée, and the famed chocolate Brooklyn Bridge, the wedding cake to be dolled out later on.

With the champagne refilled and the plates cleared, everyone was invited to the dance floor, you dragged Sophie out with your free hand in a fit of laughter as Rita chuckled at your antics before wrapping her arms around your waist. You were happy to see Olivia had managed to drag Barba up, you weren’t sure if there was something there or not, but they were definitely great friends. You kissed Rita softly, 

“I love you.”

“I love you to the moon and back darling.” She murmured in reply, meeting you for another little kiss as you swayed around the dance floor. “What was with all the shrieking earlier?” Her brow quirked.

“Oh…” you laughed, making sure you weren’t too close to anyone to eavesdrop, “Sophie’s pregnant, and engaged.”

“Good for them.” Rita glanced over to the couple, and their affection and excitement simply oozed off of them. “Please don’t offer to babysit for her and Liv the same night, I don’t need two babies in the apartment at the same time.” You laughed, ducking to kiss her again,

“I am not planning on _any_ babies in our apartment, it’s way too kid unfriendly. I’ve bashed my shins enough on that coffee table, hell, I was worried about having _Carisi_ over.” That pulled a howl of a laugh from Rita that you couldn’t help but join in on, her laughter far too infectious to resist.

*

“You know..I really never thought I’d see the day…” Olivia spoke softly, her gaze on you and Rita laughing heartily in each other’s arms as you danced.

“Calhoun married? Neither did I, I’ve never seen her smile this much.” Rafael replied. She rolled her eyes, turning her gaze back to him.

“Cut the crap, I know you know.”

“I was told to pretend I didn’t.”

“Rafa…come on, y/n’s my daughter, it’s not like the whole squad doesn’t know now.”

“What?! This is brand new information.” She punched at his shoulder, earning a smile from him, “it is really great that you get to be here today. And not just as a plus one.”

“It really is.” She wistfully replied, glancing over to you once again, “it’s hard to explain. Once you become a Mother you just want to see your kids grow up and be happy, safe and loved. I never thought I’d get to see that from my daughter once I gave her away. Somehow life just…brought us back together.”

“And now you’ve got Noah.” Rafael smiled, “who has the best big sister…or…Aunt? To watch out for him.” Olivia laughed,

“We decided to go with Aunt. It…works more smoothly. I’m just so incredibly glad to know she had a good life, and she’s where she belongs.”

“They certainly are happy, and you know Rita will take _incredible_ care of her.”

“Oh she already has.” Liv shot back, “when she proposed Y/N had no idea it was a ring in the box because Rita brings her home Tiffany’s on a _regular basis!”_

“Jesus Christ.” He muttered with a laugh, “I shouldn’t even be surprised at this point.”

“If that’s one of the ways she shows love, I’ll take it.” She shrugged, “cause I know how much y/n appreciates her, they truly have found their perfect partners. The way they talk about each other…makes me hope I’ll be able to find someone with a fraction of their love.”

“You will.” Rafael reassured.

*

Parched from a few rounds of dancing you and Rita tumbled over to the bar, smiles wide on your cheeks as you settled against the wood. She tucked a piece of loose hair back into your up-do, fingers caressing your jawline, devotion pouring from her eyes.

“You look stunning my love.”

“Thank you…” you smiled, moving closer to her for a small kiss that built into a deeper one, her arms looping around your neck, “you look sensational yourself.” You murmured against her lips. She kissed your cheek softly, keeping you in her arms, wrapping one around your waist while she thanked the bartender for your drinks.

“Are you having a good night?”

“Anytime I’m with you I’m having a good time.” You kissed her shoulder gently, “you’re what makes my life sparkle. Knowing I get to come home to you at the end of every day? It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of.”

“Darling…” Rita’s eyes glistened with happy tears, “don’t you dare make me ruin my make up.” You chuckled softly, kissing her again.

“I’m just sayin’…as much as I hound you about eating and coffee, I’m impeccably glad you showed up in my E.R that day. I don’t know what I would do without you by my side.”

“Oh sweetheart.” Tenderly cupping your cheek she kissed you gingerly, “you are my world, my sun, moon and stars, you know that right?”

“Mmhmm.” You nodded, “I’m also your _wife_.” Smiling you couldn’t resist the chance to kiss her again, thankful for this uninterrupted moment of love and infatuation with the woman you loved more than anyone else in the world.

*

As the evening went on, the crowd began to slowly dwindle. Your parents were the first to leave, giving the two of you their eternal love and blessings, a hug filled goodbye more than welcomed. Sophie and Sonny ducked out not long after, Sonny making some excuse about ‘Soph being tired from too many night shifts’ that you accepted, bidding them both a warm goodnight. It didn’t take long for you and Rita to be the last two people left, she was busying herself making sure the waitstaff was adequately tipped for the evening while you paid a quick trip to the restroom before leaving. 

“You ready to go?” You asked as you returned, finding Rita leant against the bar, your brow quirked as there were two fresh glasses of champagne on the ledge.

“Almost.” She smiled, quickly checking the clock before linking her hand in yours, “I’ve got one more surprise for you darling.” She nodded in a motion for you to collect your flute before guiding you back out to the terrace.

“Baby..what?” You half laughed as she led you to the edge of the patio, the waves of the river softly splashing against the edge of the structure. You were facing the Brooklyn Bridge, she moved behind you, wrapping her arms around you while she nestled into the crook of your neck.

“Just wait.” She murmured softly, kissing at your skin. 

It was safe to say that the gasp that left your lips when the first firework went off was far more than dramatic. It was almost instantly that you clasped a hand to your mouth, holding back a sob of shock as the display began in front of you.

“Rita!” You half turned in her arms, “how on Earth?!”

“I have my connections.” She simply replied, a grin on her cheeks and gleam in her eye as she kissed you gently. “I had to have some way to make sure you know I’ve got the greatest wife in the world.”

“Oh but that’s not possible.” You teased back, “because the greatest wife in the world is married to me.” Kissing her lightly, she could see the shimmer of happy tears in your eyes, the sparkle of the fireworks reflected in them, “I love you. I love you more than anything in this goddamn universe. And I will _never_ stop loving you. I don’t know what I did to be so fucking lucky to have you walk into my life but I will be eternally grateful that you did.”

“Darling…” her own eyes shone with tears, “you are my _everything_. I hope you never forget that. I am incredibly privileged to call you my wife. I will love you with my whole heart for the rest of my life.”

“So much for not ruining makeup.” You gave a watery laugh, swiping away a tear.

“You still look so beautiful my love.” Rita kissed your forehead as you turned back to the display in front of you. You nestled into her shoulder, wrapping your arms around her as you smiled happily, your hand linking with her left, toying with the simple yet elegant wedding band she’d chosen.

The day had already been wonderful, beyond wonderful even, it was exactly what you wanted, what you’d dreamed. You were eternally grateful to have Rita in your life, hell, you would’ve been completely content with just being her friend, but having her love you? That was the ultimate fantasy. And Rita? She felt the exact same way. Some people might have thought it was unconventional but if you talked to anyone that knew you, they would say that the two of you made the perfect match, the perfect marriage, that your love outshone everyone else’s in the entire world.

After a day surrounded by the people you cared about the most, celebrating love and happiness, there was no place you’d rather be than in each other’s arms. And to close it all off, a magical firework show dedicated to just the two of you and your special day? There truly was no better of a way to end it, with beaming smiles and happy tears while you proclaimed your love for each other. You couldn’t possibly wait to find out what the future had in store.


End file.
